Rolling on De Nile
by hatchlingpendragon
Summary: A globe-trekking couple has more things to sort out than passports. Nothing too explicit, despite the obvious temptations to the contrary... I just had to jump on that bloody bandwagon.
1. Chapter 1

"WAAAAAAGH!" he screamed, careening rapidly around the corners, the humongous backpack on his back strangely not hindering him at all. "Sorry, dude, sorry, dude, sorry, dude, sorry, dude!" he rambled, stumbling into another corridor, and finally the noises went away. He waited for a moment, inhaled, and then let out a sigh that ended in a shriek as bright silver-blue eyes blinked open at him in the dark. "Sorry." a girl's voice spoke up, and he immediately relaxed, grinning, "Oh, hey, naw, it's cool!" She giggled slightly, shifting her feet on the ceiling, "You okay? That sounded like something back there."

"Huh? Oh, ha-ha, yeah..." he admitted, glancing around the corner again, "I think I found one of mummy-dude's relatives, but lemme tell ya, the guy _so _didn't get up on the right side of the sarcopha-thing." "Woah, really?" Mavis asked, head right over Johnny's as they scanned the corridor together, "Uncle Murray told me about them. Murray's actually not that old for a mummy, he said. So I guess some guys around here are really, _really _old. Maybe the guy's just cranky?"

"I get that," Johnny nodded sagely, not bothering to question what counted as 'old' for monsters, "There was this one neighborhood I visited, this one old dude was like 'Quit camping on my lawn!' and I could totally respect that and he had the _coolest_ shotgun so I kept to the sidewalk instead?" he leaned against the ancient stone wall, reminiscing, "But it was a really _cool _old house that some two little dudes told me was _haunted _and, I mean, who would pass up on checking _that_ out, right? Anyway, I got a small yard-work job/hobby at the time so I thought maybe the old guy would want his yard raked or something while I was there, free community service thing, y'know? And then the _freakiest_ stuff happened—"

* * *

. . .

* * *

"—and then I got my backpack from the junk, took some pics with the little dudes and my homie Skull, and the old man was all cool with everybody, and that was how that Hallowe'en went!" he finished nostalgically. Mavis clapped, giggling, genuinely meaning it when she did. Johnny always had some cool new story to tell. "Anyway, I think old-mummy-dude was totally trying to eat my eyes," he got back on track worriedly, "I'm all for those alternate lifestyles, but that was kind of out there for me, y'know? I like my eyes."

"That's okay," she told him, grinning that cute little fangy-smile, suddenly in front of him, "I like your eyes, too."

He blinked as she kissed him on the nose, and he grinned like a goof, "Cool."

They both looked around as something scattered around the torchlight, and Mavis's eyes lit up, "Scarabs?!"

Johnny swallowed, "Oh, yeah, those," he mumbled, "Those tried to eat me, too."

"Holy rabies!" the vampire exclaimed, and Johnny jumped as Mavis pounced at one with a squeal, never minding its snapping pincers as she held it up to the light, very near her face, the thing shrill and clicking as it squirmed in her fingers. "Uh, careful, Mavey," he mentioned uncomfortably, "They kinda try to get under your skin. Like, literally." She waved a hand at him, grinning fascinatedly as she turned the little carnivorous beetle over in her grasp, "Uncle Murray keeps bringing them over, but he always kept telling me they're best fresh. 'Homegrown'!" she mentioned.

"What's he mean home—GUAAGH?!" he yelped as she popped it into her mouth with a squeaky _crunch_.

She chewed thoughtfully, as Johnny made a new grimacing face with every _crack_, _squeak_, and _pop_.

"_Nnrf_... Hm. Aweshome... He washn't kiddin'." she admitted, politely spitting out the legs and swallowing. She grinned at him, "Want one?"

He stared, then grinned nervously, "Ah-ha, thanks, but, uh, but I think I wanna stick to my plain ol' beef jerky."

She looked at the stick of the stuff he held up as an example, then at him, then laughed a little, "Sure thing. Ooh-ooh-ooh, lemme just get some to go!"

Johnny grimaced as she casually tossed a few more of the vicious bugs into her bag, snacking on some while she did, "Cool, Middle Eastern takeout." he joked. She chuckled, a little bit embarrassed by her greediness, and absently shook the bag when its reluctant inhabitants tried to wriggle out. "Uh, they're not gonna chew through that, are they?" he asked, poking at the bag and jerking his finger back when it gave a chittering screech, and she shook her head, "Dad got some good stuff, it looks like," she told him, "We could keep a pork-pine in these things if we find one." "Porcupine." he corrected, still eyeing the bag nervously. She frowned, "Porky pie?" "Porcu—y'know what, yours sounds better," he decided, grinning, "But we won't find any around here."

She pouted, but then shrugged, slinging the bag next to her own backpack with a contented smile, "Come on. Let's go see if the guy feels like saying hi, now."

Jonathan's face fell.

* * *

. . .

* * *

"We should've just left him at cranky!" he protested as they ran, angry-sounding screeches and groans echoing behind them.

"Maybe he's not a day person?" little bat Mavis suggested, seeming only slightly worried.

"Sorry, man!" Johnny shouted over his shoulder, as Mavis found them an alcove higher up, dragging him up the wall. The mummy grumbled up at them irritatedly, shaking a fist at them before stalking off, one bandage trailing awkwardly from his ankle. Johnathan watched, now interested once there was no immediate danger, "Maybe we should leave a gift basket or something?" he wondered, "What do sort-of dead guys like to eat, anyway?" "I'm not sure, it depends on the guy," Mavis admitted, "Maybe we should just leave him alone, since we're kind of on his lawn." "Maybe it's organs," he continued, even as they started to wander around with the intent to get out, "Yeah, I think it's gut stuff. Again, not hating on the alternate lifestyle, but I'm kind of attached to mine. Maybe we could find some donor place, but... Hey, how would he eat the stuff anyway? I mean, does he just chew it up, use his hands, like, Indian-style, or is there some sort of Egyptian silverware? Maybe we should put in some silverware, too, just in case, right? I don't think the plastic stuff we have would work okay on organs, though. _Pshh_, the plastic stuff barely works on _people_ food!"

Mavis rolled her eyes, smiling at him, "What time is it?"

He squinted, then blinked, "Uh...wrist. Hang on a—..."

He started spinning around to reach into his own backpack, dexterous from experience, grunting as he finally found the watch he'd stashed in there, "Hey, hey, yeah!" He looked at its slightly grimy surface properly, and then grinned at her, "It should be good out there by now. Ya ready?" She nodded, "Mmhm." He offered an arm to her, smiling, "Milady!" She took it, slightly blushing with a silly grin as they sauntered their way back towards where they thought the exit was. They had to ask directions from a few bats along the way, regardless, but she had to admit: the guy really knew how to show a girl a good time.

* * *

. . .

* * *

They shared Johnny's iPod while they waited, waiting at the corner of the shady sides of the old pyramid while the sun was slowly setting. Mavis had come to like jazz, hop, and old rock while Johnny prefered a lot of the new rock with some old stuff thrown in, so they'd managed to make a playlist with a mix of their favorites. Johnny loved to air-guitar for 'Crazy Train'. The empty blue-fading-to-peach sky was broken with his slightly off-key lyrics, him dancing wildly enough to nearly yank the earbud from her ear, so she leaned in tandem, laughing as they nearly tangled the cords. He sat down when the song finished, laughing as well, "Woo! . . . It's some kind of good luck that we found this place, huh?" he asked her, glancing at where the pyramid's old door had crumbled in enough for them to slip in. She couldn't help a snort, "Yeah, our camel ran off, we got lost in a sandstorm, then got swarmed by locusts, which was pretty tasty, and then fell down a bunch of sand dunes until you literally ran into this pyramid thing here. . ." she paused, looking up at the structure, and grinned, "Which is pretty awesome! So, yeah, I guess that _was_ lucky."

"I try!" he said, smirking while leaning back on the steps of the pyramid, patting his backpack, "Got some food in here to keep a few days, plenty of water, the tents, maps, iPod's on full juice, so we can hang for a day. I think there might be a town around that we can try finding tomorrow night. Sound good?"

"Yup!"

Mavis was bouncing on the toes of her boots, glancing at the edge of the shadow as it—slowly, torturously slowly—moved, "Can we do it yet?"

He peeked around into the setting sunlight, squinting, "Almo-ost... Give it a second."

After a few moments they were both eagerly watching that shadow. Jonathan finally glanced from its edge to Mavis before moving forward, "Okay, okay, let's _do_ this!"

He judged his angle carefully with the shadow of the pyramid, and then smiled over his shoulder at his girlfriend, "Here, try it out."

She was quick, darting to his back, but then she was careful, slowly edging to the limit of the shadow to see the view. Johnny smiled as he saw her eyes widen over that little kitten grin she had, pupils nearly overtaking the irises as she watched. Mavis liked to see most aspects of the sun, but she loved sunsets. While sunrises were softer, cheerier, sunsets were richer in color, and the contrast in the sky was beautiful. Plus, she could watch sunsets longer, more safely. Sometimes her preference changed, she'd like to see the sunrises, or sometimes there just wasn't time to see either. Their sleep cycles were random along this trip. Sometimes both would sleep during the day, or one during the dusk and one during the dawn, or during the night if the weather permitted. Mavis was used to the nighttime, but desert nights were so much more different than the ones back at home. The air was colder, the stars were sharper, and Johnny swore he'd get a harmonica and learn to play one. The couple slowly relaxed as the sun sank over the horizon, Mavis's head on Johnny's shoulder as the stars came out, and they both sighed. "Awesome?" Johnny asked, and she affectionately shoved into him, "Awesome." she agreed. The sand was still warm, even if the air was taking on a chill. Johnny ate beef jerky and canned fruit for a meal, sharing the can with Mavis while she snacked on her scarabs. Eventually he yawned, and by the rules of contagious yawns it caused Mavis to yawn as well. Tonight was a sleeping night, so they began to set up camp.

* * *

. . .

* * *

Johnny stood back, hands proudly on his hips as he glanced at their tents. Mavis's, of course, had cute little subtle lines of pink on the arches with the rest of it being charcoal gray or black. His was much more beat up and had faded to some sort of gray-green, but it was still good. "Hotel Johnster is open!" he decided, grinning at Mavis as she staked in her last anchor line. She got up, brushing sand from her knees, and then went over to hug him. He hugged her back, and then backed up a little to smile at her, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." she said back, and then they kissed, Johnny leaning down slightly. Mavis felt her face warm a little bit as she leaned into it. Johnny felt his face was warm too as he felt her small hands on his shoulders. He gently broke it off, breath slightly quicker, adding another kiss to her forehead, his smile quirking a bit as she stared at him, a small, vague smile on her face, "Y-yeah, um, sleep good." he managed, and then dove into his tent. Mavis stared thoughtfully at his tent door as the rustling inside died down, her eyes bright and slightly glowing in the dusk.

* * *

. . .

* * *

It took a while for him to get comfortable, sometimes shoving the sleeping bag off, sometimes wriggling back in, rolling onto his stomach or his back or his sides, trying to get his crazy human brain back on the idea of _sleep_. Still, even he knew he wasn't very good on focusing on things. Or at least, controlling that focus. Was it weird to think that she was creepily attractively _adorable _when she munched on bugs?! Well, he knew people who ate bugs, even live ones, like locusts or grasshoppers or things like that. He'd be sure to take her to certain places in China, or somewhere in Asia. Japan, too, he had a feeling she'd love sushi. She could eat regular food, right? If she could eat bugs and fruit and stuff like scream cheese he was sure she could eat other things. Hopefully. Anyway, then they'd go to Hawaii, they were both looking forward to that. And then later on they'd make it to the Americas. He wondered if she'd like spicy food. Maybe he could even show her his home town. And of course they'd have to go around again to see more of the European countries, because they'd mostly been focused on going South East at the time. How many months would that take, total, not counting job stops? Maybe they'd take ships, stretch the trip a little longer. Would she be okay at airports, anyway? He hadn't had to pay for two before. He snorted, imagining smuggling a little bat Mavis onboard, wondering how customs would take it if he got caught. 'Hello, sir, don't mind me, this little bat here is just my girlfriend! Say hi, Mavey!' He'd be asked for straitjacket sizes again. Okay, he'd only been in the bin once, and that had been an honest misunderstanding, and he'd made some awesome pen pals from the whole experience. Still, saying he had a little bat/vampire girlfriend would be a first.

He was quietly laughing as he rolled over again, but the laugh caught in his throat as a short yelp as two bright blue eyes stared down at him from the admittedly low tent ceiling, jolting him out of the half-sleep he'd been stewing in. Right, said girlfriend has a misty teleportation thing. He laughed again, a bit more nervously, "Hey, he-ey, Mavis! Uh, you okay?"

"I'm not tired." she said bluntly, teeth shining slightly even in the dark, eyes blinking slowly. Johnny swallowed, "Er, I have some extra blankets or something if you want—?" "I kind of wanted to...sleep over..." she mentioned, and he now noticed she was sort of standing over him, easily bent down at the hips to avoid the tent ceiling while her bare feet were delicately planted on each side of the sleeping bag, her hands clasped behind her back while her short hair hung past her face. While her PJs were a perfectly modest lounge-y fleecy number, black with cute little skeleton sheep on them, Johnny felt his mouth go dry, and not because they were in a desert. He swallowed again, "The tent's really not big enough for the two of us, Mavis." he told her, his voice slightly hoarse with grogginess and something else, trying to sink into the floor as she stepped over him to kneel beside him, slightly pushing at the tent wall. He automatically shifted to the other side to give her room, the sleeping bag twisting awkwardly around his waist as he watched her with wide eyes. She blushed as she saw he wasn't wearing a shirt. He must've taken it off to sleep. She grinned at him, "Is that a bad thing?" she asked sweetly, leaning closer to his face. He was glancing rapidly between her eyes and her mouth, "It makes me kind of nervous." he admitted, even as he was leaning in too. "Is that a bad thing?" she repeated, angling her head slightly as he got up on his elbows, and despite himself he was leaning in too. "I guess I can deal with it..." he mumbled, and closed the last few spaces of air to kiss her. It started out chaste, as a lot of their kisses were. But any kiss that lasted for more than four or five seconds was bound to head somewhere beyond the cute territory.

Johnny sat up more, tilting his head to deepen it as Mavis sat more on her knees, getting comfortable, getting closer. This was where Mavis's boldness started to flag, as the kiss slowly went into less familiar territory. She supported her weight on her right hand while the other rested on his shoulder, fingertips slightly catching against the smooth, taut skin as her hand moved along the tendon between his shoulder and neck. They broke for a moment for air, breathing quietly, quickly, before he cupped the back of her head, fingers threading gently into her hair to guide her into the kiss again. She felt him shift slightly, sitting up even more, and then she felt the hand that wasn't in her hair feel for and cover the dip of her waist, gently pulling her closer until they were sitting hip to hip, her left to his left, each twisting at the torso to keep lip contact. She inhaled through her nose quickly in surprise as he let the sleeping bag drop, but noticed he still wore pants, and heard-felt him chuckle slightly into the kiss, and she couldn't help a laugh in response.

The tent really was narrow: when one moved they'd feel the edges of the walls gently resist, giving a slightly claustrophobic feeling. She was used to sleeping in small spaces, but had to admit that since she wasn't planning to sleep, this wasn't ideal. Jonathan already seemed to think about this, as she felt him start to rise up, lean over, slipping out of his sleeping bag trying not to break the kiss. She automatically leaned back, moving until she was on her back against his sleeping bag, raised up on an elbow, her hand now moving up the column of his neck to just under his jaw, gently kneading the muscle there. She felt him groan against her mouth as she pushed a particular spot. She focused on that, feeling him shudder over her, the hand in her hair massaging her scalp, gently tugging at her hair, nearly tensing, and it felt strangely good. She could feel his pulse pound under her fingers, his palm moving in slow, steady circles against her waist, her ribs, not moving higher or lower. She was intensely aware of his knees on either side of her legs, of him crouched over her in this small space. Their movement had caused her pajama shirt to ride up a bit, still within the bounds of modesty, stopped by his hand, but for some reason she was incredibly aware of that slightly exposed skin, feeling the air move against it, the fabric shift as he continued those slow, gentle circles. It wasn't a very comfortable awareness. Should she try to cover it up? Move his hand to it? Did he notice? Where did they go from here? Was she supposed to do something more? She was shot right out of those thoughts as she felt his tongue slightly hook at the upper row of her teeth, scraping gently against the tip of one of her fangs, and she felt something _zing _through her body when he did that. She hadn't been ready for that. She couldn't help a gasp, nearly flinching, and he noticed.

She mumbled out a protest as he broke the kiss to look down at her, the hand in her hair moving to the side of her face, thumb rubbing along her cheekbone as the hand at her waist absently squeezed, "You okay?" he asked, and she nodded quickly, "Yeah, I'm...I'm good, it's good..." She moved up quickly, trying to catch his mouth with her own, "It's good..." she repeated, sounding almost anxious, and kissed him again, and felt him respond, but instead of keeping it there, he went off to kiss her cheek, her ear, her jaw, "J-Johnny...?" she said confusedly, dazed by the sudden closeness and the scent of him, and then her body _shuddered_ as she felt his mouth on her neck, "_Oh, holy_...!" He backed off again, glancing her face over before smiling gently, eyes half-lidded as he gave her another quick kiss on the mouth, "It's good..." he replied to her simply, and then shifted to roll on his side, and they both moved awkwardly as he tried to arrange the sleeping bag differently. Her confusion was lost to embarrassment as Jonathan finally managed to use the bag as a sort of blanket for the both of them, resting on his back beside her, nestling her head on his arm, her eyes wide and staring at the ceiling, and he smiled at her, kissing her cheek, "Sleep-overs are cool." he told her, and she flushed, trying to turn to him, "S-sorry, Johnny, I really—!" He watched her as she tried to put it in words, "I-I really can, just let me—it's good, so why can't we, I mean I—?" He cut her off with another kiss, smiling tiredly, "It's cool, Mavis, really. Let's get some sleep. I'm honestly better at thinking after having some. Sort of." She blushed as he attempted to hold her closer, and sat up, dislodging the bag, "I-I'm sorry," she stammered out, "I'm—uh, my tent, I'll go to my tent, I'm sorry, goodnight, Johnny."

"Mavey..." Johnny began, but she'd already misted through the tentflap, and he groaned, flinging himself back onto his back with his arm over his eyes, ". . . Her dad would so kill me..." he mumbled to the tent ceiling, one hand fisted at his side, determined to not give in to his stupid hormones. But she was so warm, small, and those _teeth_... He could go out there, apologize for being a jerk, get back to the totally awesome make-out session and...and... No, bad thoughts, there. But what the heck could he do when she looked so _nervous_? Sleep was so not an option... What would the eulogy be like? He hoped someone would play his iPod playlist during the service. That'd be pretty cool. Visions of cute little chibi skeleton sheep, flushed faces, wide blue eyes, and a certain snarling Drac haunted him through the rest of the night.

* * *

. . .

* * *

Mavis paced the cold sand between their tents, letting the chilly air brush against her hot face, hands clenching at her sides, or hugging her own torso, palms occasionally slapping lightly against her cheeks or forehead, cursing to herself. That had been so _stupid!_ She'd—what did she do wrong? She started it so, so why couldn't she just finish—?! She growled to herself and turned into a bat, letting simple thoughts like wind patterns and bugs and cold and gravity be her concerns instead of the thoughts of what came after a _zing_.

* * *

. . .

* * *

They got ready to travel some time in the early morning, before the sun rose, and it was incredibly awkward. Flushed faces, dodging glances, dark eyes and bed head for the both of them meant that neither party was quite ready to seriously discuss the events that caused those things. Jonathan quickly charted a route for them, being helped by Mavis's 'vamp sight', which wasn't easy for her with such a big, unknown territory. They actually managed to pinpoint a city called Al Barsha, pretty nearby, which would be about two days' travel on Johnny's feet. From there they could get to the Nile, and it'd be smooth sailing from there. Hah, pun. Mavis's eyes were a distant, icy blue as she scanned past the horizons to places Johnny couldn't see. He knew it was a vampire power thing, but it still made him uneasy. Then she blinked, her eyes going back to their gentler blue, and grinned, "Camel." she mentioned simply. He brightened up, all awkwardness for the moment forgotten. "Camel?!" She nodded, and he whooped, _"Caaameeel!"_

* * *

. . .

* * *

Hunting a camel was tricky. The beasts were crafty and condescending, pretending to ignore you until they'd step to the side or kick with a hoof when you thought you caught them unawares. Plus, they always smelled funny. Johnny managed to get on one, and rode it like a rodeo bull before little bat Mavis clutched to its face, staring at its eyes. The vampire mind trick typically worked better with humans, since human and vampire brains were pretty much the same, language barriers aside, but Mavis managed. Soon a much more docile camel, who they learned was named Nekonkh, was content to speed the journey along with the obligatory promise to him of wheat and fresh grasses. "Thanks for translating the Arabic, by the way." Mavis mentioned, flying alongside the camel as it galloped with Jonathan and their backpacks on its back. He shrugged, grinning goofily as the ride continuously jostled him. "How many languages do you know?" she asked, curious. "Let's just say..." Jonathan said thoughtfully, "That I know enough of any of 'em to get me in trouble. I once called this guy 'Mr. Stinky Fish Face' on accident and was banned from Hong Kong for a while. Not quite sure why, well, I knew why, obviously, but I mean, why can't people be cool? I dunno. But anyway, I've learned better since then. Trial and error, that's one of my mah-toes!"

"Hong Kong?" she asked, laughing.

"Oh, you'll dig it! I'm sure they'll let me back in by the time we get there."

That made her laugh again.

They both blinked as they noticed the air was getting lighter, and Mavis rolled to the ground in human form, rubbing her hands against her arms uncomfortably, feeling her skin warm up almost like a rash. "Time's up." she grimaced "Aw, geez, hold on, I got this!" Jonathan said, vaulting off the camel, who waited patiently as he rummaged through their backpacks. She pouted, even as her shoulder smoked slightly, and she moved into the camel's shadow. Jonathan held up the black bundle triumphantly, fortunately from her backpack, and they worked on sun-proofing Mavis. It was sort of like a burqa, and sort of like a traditional head wrap. When they were done, she was cloaked head-to-toe in the black robe, her pale blue eyes peeking out through the thin slit of the head wrap, and they did not look happy. "I look ridiculous." she stated flatly, muffled. "You look cool," Johnny replied, helping her up on the camel, "Like Sheik, Zelda, whoever, meets a ninja and they go all Prince of Persia on the place. Or maybe Assassin's Creed. Anyhow, to anyone around here this thing is totally normal." "Like _who_?" she asked as he settled in behind her, and the camel trumped along, "Gah. It's hot in this thing, I can barely move _or _see. I seriously think I'll go crazy if we keep having to do this." "We'll be fine once we hit the town, plenty of shadows," he assured her, patting her shoulder through the lumpy cloth, "And don't worry, if you do go crazy, you can share my straitjacket any time." Mavis gave the face-hiding thing credit for at least, well, hiding her face. She was sure she looked super sunburnt, and not from the sun. Jonathan mistook her silence with a laugh, "Yeah, that was pretty corny..."

They trekked for a while more in relative silence before they both agreed they'd have better chances travelling at night. This time Jonathan set up the two tents together, to make a sort of living room to pass the time in or rest, while keeping Mavis out of direct sunlight. The camel parked beside them, content to rest and think...think camel thoughts, who knew. Strangely enough, even when the sun was finely filtered through the tent mesh, Mavis was fine. Johnny still draped a few cloths over the tents to make it more shadowy, just in case. After the awkwardness, it was actually fun. Johnny told her tales about childhood pillow forts and tree forts, pretend rilvalries and battles, and she told him about roosting places and belfries, solo explorations, which led to stories about bell towers, discussion of a mutual fascination for Gothic architecture, the music that went with it, and then everything in-between.

"Notre-Dame de Paris," Jonathan decided at one point, saluting with a ballpoint pen in the air, lying on his back against his backpack as a crude couch, "When we go around again I'm totally taking us to Notre-Dame de Paris." "Looking forward to it." she chuckled, as she always said when he mentioned a new destination. "I mean," he glanced at her, "It'd be _my_ second time going there, but a first time's always special, right?" He grinned as she stared, she not saying anything, and he went on, "I look forward to you _seeing _all this stuff, man, it's...it'll be awesome..."

She flushed slightly, looking away, "Yeah..."

* * *

**Author's note: **_An experiment on explicitness that will be finished in the next chapter due to length. Please pardon my deviation from my other works, if those were what you were following. I will be updating soon, I just wanted to play around a little. And who doesn't want to play around a little? Reviews are appreciated, as this was my 'first time' writing intimacy with that much detail. Keep calm and carry coffee!_

_Sincerely, the hatchling_


	2. Chapter 2

They could see Al Barsha on the horizon later in the day, towards noontime, over a day earlier than they would've seen it on foot. The distant buildings looked like they sizzled or glittered in the air, an interesting sight after all the sand. Distance in the desert played tricks on the eyes, though, and by later afternoon Mavis looked ready to chew up her burqa when that town didn't seem to be getting any closer. "Y'know what?" she finally said, "Bite this. Hang on, Johnny." She promptly turned into a bat, the mass of black robing slumping over the camel as Jonathan squawked, "Woah, Mavis, you—!" Little bat Mavis quickly scrambled up under Jonathan's shirt, causing him to shriek and squirm and generally flail around in the throes between pain, surprise, and ticklishness.

_"GYAAABAHAGWAHAHAH?!"_

The camel plodded on without care as the strange human on its back panicked. "Calm down!" he heard her say, she was nearly laughing, and he finally settled down enough to peek down the neck of his shirt, feeling strange little bat claws and skin and fur against his chest and stomach. He laughed uncertainly as she looked up at him, safe and looking pretty snug, and smug, in the shade offered by his shirt.

"Is...this is okay, right?" she asked, but used the little pouty bat face while doing it, leaving Jonathan no choice but to say, after opening and closing his mouth a few times: "Y-yeah." Little fangs peeked cutely from her muzzle as she managed a smile on said bat face, "This's easier on the camel," she added, and then snuggled closer, "And...I kinda like this better than the barker..." Jonathan stared a little more before nodding, going back into his easy smile as he let the shirt settle over her, absently petting the lump. "Yeah, me too." he looked at the discarded black cloth and stuffed it back into one of the backpacks, careful not to jostle her too much, "Heck, I don't know why we hadn't thought of this sooner. It's all good." He looked down at the lump again, blinking, "But, uh, don't want to sound like a jerk, but please don't scratch. It's a bad shot if you get open scratches or sores with all the sand. I'd be itching for weeks." He frowned, "Like that one time I got poison oak in Boy Scouts. Still, that had kind of helped us get more involved in the First Aid lessons. I even got the badge for 'Wilderness Survival' that year." he went on, smiling fondly. "I won't," she assured him, and her ears perked up in interest, "What are Boy Scouts?"

The rest of the trip was spent with him telling her about Boy Scouts, and his many crazy adventures in them. Sometimes, though, Mavis would zone out while he talked, in the little cozy cocoon between cloth and skin. She could feel him more than she could sense anything else, and he felt good. Like, really, really good. He was warm, huge at the moment for her little bat form, and if she pressed her ear on his chest right, she could hear and feel his great heart beat inside of him. Along with his breathing in and out, his talk, and the swaying of the camel, it was like she was being rocked to that beat... It was both incredibly soothing and strangely exciting, though eventually all the talk and the warmth and the lulling rhythm relaxed her, and Mavis soon fell dead asleep.

* * *

. . .

* * *

"Mavis? Maaavey? Wakey, wakey, bugs and snaky?"

He heard her grumble and yawn as his fingertip scratched and poked gently at her head, ruffling the fur. He couldn't help a chuckle when she wriggled. Eventually he'd gotten used to it, but fur really tickled. ". . . I didn't hear 'bout the Boy Scouts..." she mumbled apologetically, rubbing an eye with one wing. He patted her affectionately, "Don't worry, plenty more where that came from." He assured her, "But we made it, look. It's cool now, no sun." Her head poked out of his shirt collar, bonking him under the chin, and they both looked at the edge of the city as the lights came on in the dusk. Jonathan was sitting against a rock he'd staked the camel near to. "A town! Al Ber...Al Barsha!" she said excitedly.

Jonathan nodded, grinning. "Yup, better brush up on my Arabic if we wanna get some more supplies and stuff to pay back this dude," he patted the camel, "Maybe see if there're any docks open." He tilted his head as she climbed to perch on his shoulder, her eyes wide as she scanned what she could see, "Maybe see if any of Murray's homies are around!" he continued to suggest. "Well, they're sure out there," Mavis chuckled, gesturing to the desert they left behind, "So they might be around here. Nighttime's the best time to see if there is anybody. And..." her ears tilted back and she looked a little embarrassed, chuckling, "Murray's told me about some hangouts monsters have in the human towns." "Monster hangouts?!" Jonathan asked, excited, "Oh, now we totally _have_ to find one." Then his face fell, mouth quirking, "Man, I think I'll need the Johnny-stein disguise again... 'No humans allowed! Bleh-bleh-bleh...'" he snarked, comically clawing his hands.

"No you won't," she told him, chuckling, turning back into her human form to hold onto his arm, grinning, "You'll be fine, because you're _my_ human." She blushed slightly when she said this, but felt his hand take hers where their arms were wrapped together. He laughed, brightening up and grinning down at her, "I think I can roll with that."

After feeding the camel and letting it go on its way, they discussed how they wanted to tackle the town. They eventually settled on a sector to explore. Thanks to Mavis's mad gravity-defying skills, they got to stash their backpacks in a place no human would be able to get, keeping the essentials with them. Johnathan managed to give his a backpack pat before they left.

"How did you do this stuff before? With your backpack, I mean." Mavis asked.

"Usually I just keep it with me, but I dunno, even if I lost my backpack I never _lost _it, like, no one stole it or anything, which I'm really grateful for." he explained, "I always end up finding it again with nothing gone." He joked, "It might be humanity's good vibes, or it might be the natural deterrent!" When she looked blankly at him he had the grace to be embarrassed, grinning nervously, "Uh, my laundry." He watched her laugh, happy that she seemed more relaxed now. She thought of him as hers. He grinned to himself, strangely pleased by that, and relieved. He never liked making her nervous. Then another thought stopped in, and he blinked. "Hey," he began to ask, and she looked at him, "When you walk on walls and stuff, your hair stays with you, right? Does that mean you could carry, like, a cup of water and not spill it? Or drink it, and it won't go up your nose or anything?" his eyes lit up as he kept thinking about it, "Woah, could you stick stuff to the _walls_?!" She laughed again, and started to explain vampire's gravity to her boyfriend, who was grinning like crazy. "You're like a super _Spiderman! . . . _Oh, geez, I mean_ woman! _I mean, uh, I—you're awesome?" he finished, and she took all of it as a compliment.

* * *

. . .

* * *

Mavis watched from around the corner as Johnny tried to get directions, not being able to help her slight laughter.

"Aw, man, uh... الغذاء؟! الغذاء؟ الغذاء الرخيص؟ Food place?!" Jonathan asked desperately, hands nearly clutched in his hair.

The man was grinning tiredly, replying in rapidly spoken Arabic mixed with heavily accented, broken English as he and Jonathan tried to communicate, though it seemed pretty good-natured, and they clapped each others' shoulders when they were done. "Thanks, dude!" Jonathan called as the local left, and the man waved him off, shaking his head, "Tourist!" the man laughed.

"How did it go?" Mavis asked, still feeling slightly nervous around humans she didn't know. Jonathan paused, looking at her, and then Mavis blinked as the flash of a camera sparked her eyes. Johnny grinned, pocketing it like it was nothing, "Awesome! He pointed me out to this spot two streets over. You'll get to see humans in their habitat naturale!" He blinked, "Uh, I mean, if that's okay, I don't want to rush anything or—" "It's good." she interrupted, smiling, and pointed at his pocket, "Can I see?" Jonathan immediately turned red, "Uhh, I don't know if—you might think I'm—uh," he took it out anyway to give to her, "Creepy..."

He looked away nervously as she pressed the buttons on the camera, and it wasn't hard for her to navigate to the pictures. She blinked, both surprised and not surprised.

There were pictures of her, she expected that much, but they were...random and abundant... "I usually turned off the flash." Jonathan explained quickly after a period of silence. The first pictures she knew about, the ones where he'd gotten her to pose with her backpack in front of Hotel Transylvania, first by herself, then with her dad, then with the whole gang before someone finally took a picture of her and Jonathan together. Towards the beginning of the trip the first major highlight had been the Sofia Metro in Bulgaria. He'd gotten a few pictures of her dancing to an awesome street musician they'd met. Some looked cool, while some looked goofy, blurry or out of focus, but she was still flattered. Then there were a few where they were sitting in the train itself. She smirked at the wide-eyed expression she'd had on her face. She looked weird. But that was her first time on a train. It had been awesome. There were a few more pictures of the station itself, the train, some funny-looking people, but a lot of the pictures were either focused on her or had her in it. There was the Thracian Tomb of Kazanlak, still in Bulgaria, and looking sufficiently creepy and cool in the nighttime. Then there was a picture of the mural from the tomb, taken from behind her, catching her up on the wall, when they'd made sure no one was nearby, nearly tracing one of the figures. She remembered the mural depicting what looked like the story of a couple attending a funeral ritual, and it had been strangely sweet. Bittersweet.

There were pictures of her bat form, too, though not as much. There were some pictures of them monkeying around the Parthenon of Greece, they hadn't stayed there long. Then there was that humongous palm forest in Vai, Crete, which had made her think of the HaWeeWee postcards. She chuckled nostalgically, blushing a little. They'd really had practice with kissing that time. There was the boat ride, then some desert horizon pictures, then a few of that pyramid. And, yup, there was a picture of her bat form hanging on to the camel's face, and then her wrapped up in the burqa. She laughed again, and Jonathan winced, "I don't see what's so—" she began, grinning, then clicked to the next picture, and blinked, ". . .?"

The angle was funny, and some of the light blurred the lens, but there was little bat Mavis, curled asleep under his shirt. She blinked again, tilting the camera to line up the view, then tilting her head. Johnny, who'd been peeking over her shoulder, started babbling. "I can delete it if you want, I mean, it was rude, yeah, not cool, though I'd really, really like to keep it because I like it but if you don't like it I can just—"

"It's sweet." she interrupted him, looking at the picture. He stared, "You're not mad?" he asked tentatively.

"Nope." she replied easily, smiling.

She clicked the button to view the last one he'd taken just a few minutes ago. He'd really thought she looked cool in that one, curiosity making her eyes wide, adding some beastiness to that sneaky-ish pose when she was leaning out of the alley, like something wild, or mysterious. He saw her blush and nod to herself, clicking the camera off. "I like it." she told him, handing the camera to him with a kiss on the cheek. Johnny immediately felt better, chuckling. "Alright then!" he replied, relieved, and they laughed. Then he went on to add, "I should get you a camera. I mean, if you want one." "I'd like that," she agreed, and he jumped when she moved in front of him, tilting her head to peer up into his face, that slightly scary little kitten grin on hers, "Then I can take pictures of you while _you _sleep."

He could feel his face warm up, but it didn't feel bad. She was awesome. "Cool..." he mumbled out, grinning. Aha, made her laugh again. Then he blinked, "Ah, right, food place this-a-way." he stated, pointing, and felt her take his arm and hand again, and as they walked he took a moment to enjoy the zing that gave him.

* * *

. . .

* * *

They both stared at the building, one in horrified shock and the other in polite bewilderment.

". . . Failed to break the language barrier." Jonathan said weakly.

Mavis tilted her head, squinting, "It's...interesting." she conceded, as the neon lights flickered in their vaguely evocative patterns, needing no written words to advertise.

"Must've taken a wrong turn," Johnny babbled, starting to steer Mavis, "C'mon, I swear I smell something food-smelling this way!"

"We could just take a look?" Mavis asked, blue eyes squinting as they tried to pick out what was behind the dark blinds.

"Your dad will drain my blood." Jonathan said bluntly, facing her with desperate eyes, "He will track me down to any place on the planet and drain all my blood."

She gave a quirked smile, taking pity on him, "I know. I'm joking." she told him. He chuckled with relief, "Oh, great..."

They walked away, following the 'food-smell', and it was a real place this time.

* * *

. . .

* * *

It was some strange, small 24-hour pub that offered the typical beverages as well as juices and water, the specialty being sandwiches of all things, scaled to local fare. Mavis was happy, as the background music had that slightly grainy, jazzy, exotic feel that she got to hear around this country. Johnny still had the local lingo left to order them some things. The place was quiet, and the clientèle low. He liked to mingle with crowds, but he liked to hang with Mavis, too, so this was cool. However, he wasn't sure he was too cool with the way the bar guy was watching Mavis. It wasn't really _offensive_ or anything, the man tried to keep it subtle, and Jonathan couldn't really blame the dude: he liked to watch her too. Still, that didn't mean Johnny had to be too comfortable with it.

He looked at Mavis, hoping he wasn't being too much of a downer, but she was busy staring at the table's linoleum, curiously picking at a place where that plasticky layer was peeling, and he smiled, watching her. She'd shown curiosity at murals, manhole covers, pigeons, phone booths, sand, lots of random stuff, and it was pretty awesome. It was kind of like, through her, he got to re-see some of the fantasticality of everyday things. And of course seeing _her_ was pretty fantastic. It was kind of strange, too, sometimes, to walk around and remember someone was walking with you, especially when they'd gotten lost a few times. He still had to get used to that. He was _happy _about it, no doubt about that, and it was cool to talk out loud and have someone actually talk back to you for once, but it was new, having another body around, having to watch out for the sun, having to, well, watch himself. He was understanding more about Drac's wanting her to be safe. But she was cool. He just hoped he was doing right by her.

"Excuse me."

They both looked up as the bar guy had come to their table, glancing between Johnny and Mavis, and smiling at her, "You _are_ a monster, correct? You are looking for downstairs?" he asked politely, and then glanced at Johnny, "He is your guest?" he asked, pointing at Johnny. The young couple looked at him in confusion. "Yes?" Mavis asked, and the man blinked, "Ah, newcomers!" he grinned, "Welcome! First time coming? The first time is choice. Here, this way."

They wrapped up their food to go, still slightly unsure. When he opened a trapdoor behind the bar, though, Mavis's eyes glowed briefly, seeing beyond where she could look. "Oh, wow!" she shouted excitedly, and thanked the man before jumping down. Johnny stared before shrugging, "Thanks." Jonathan told the guy quickly, before slinging himself down the ladder to catch up with her.

It got very dark though after the guy shut the trapdoor over them. Jonathan stood there, looking around blankly, and not seeing much.

". . . I remember kind of being in a situation like this, once." he mentioned aloud, "Was _not_ the coolest moment." He squinted, trying to pick her out in the dark, "Mavis?"

The dark reached out a hand to grab his wrist and tug him through what he now knew was a storage rooms. "A monster hangout! This leads to a monster hangout!" she said simply.

"What—_woah_—what are the _odds_?!" he laughed as they speedily wound through the narrow, indistinct rooms, and she snorted, "Probably the same as finding over one-hundred people dressed as Draculas, or you finding the Hotel in time for my birthday." she suggested, humor in her voice. He laughed as he kept up, making it so he was holding her hand instead of her holding his wrist, trusting her night vision, giving her hand a squeeze, "Ha, yeah."

". . . I guess that kind of made you my birthday present, huh?" he heard her ask. He might've stumbled, but she went on.

He flushed, grinning, and what he said next spilled out without checking with his brain first, "Yeah. Next time we should try wrapping me up properly."

He quickly shut his mouth, looking ahead in mortification.

She might've nearly tripped, but they both chose to ignore it. Jonathan was metaphorically smacking himself in the forehead, though.

All embarrassment and awkwardness and metaphorical self-punishment was forgotten when they found the source of the lights.

The young couple stood in the doorway, staring with equal surprise and fascination.

It was a lot like the Hotel lobby when the season just opens, but not as...busy. It was less chaotic, more casual, and not as brightly lit. It was a dusky, warm atmosphere, smelling like old wood and sand and something like grapes and almonds and coffee. Quiet conversations buzzed the background while a band made up of skeletons played their instruments (made _from_ skeletons, how did _that_ work?) in the corners. The conversationalists themselves were surreal. There were werewolves that looked more like were-jackals, hanging out in couples, what looked like shadows glistened like oil while looking around with glowing eyes of pale colors, birds with people's heads. Between people's feet were looked like a bunch of snakes, until closer inspection revealed it was one very, very _long _snake. What looked like a sphinx lady was sprawled on a lounge chair in the background, talking with gators that stood on two legs. Another lady who looked like a human, but was white and translucent, almost watery, was singing on a stage with a clear, carrying voice that still managed to stay in the background. And then there were the _mummies_. Different styles of wrapping, different stages of 'decay', it was something...

Johnny stared, grinning. This was awesome! What did a snake that huge eat? Did sphinxes really give riddles? Did they know English?

He was surprised when Mavis yanked him back through the doorway, out of sight.

"This is amazing!" he told her happily as she stared at him, "It's like a bar for monsters and it's―that human dude up there knew about it!"

Then Johnny blinked, "Unless he wasn't _really_ human but―are you okay?"

She didn't look too good. "I'm...it's weird. I'm used to the people at my dad's place. But I don't know _any _of these guys." she explained, peeking around him to the doorway, where the chatter and the gentle music drifted out. Johnny glanced at the doorway, then at her, smiling, "New people, right? You nervous?"

"Like I've got moths in my stomach." she grimaced, "I don't get it."

Oh. Jonathan nodded to himself. He got it.

"Well, it's a new thing. It kind of starts out weird, uncomfortable, but then you'll start enjoying it. It'll be fun," he told her, ears perking as the music's tempo picked up slightly, and they heard the occupants inside start to move like they were dancing. "Like meeting humans, right?" he asked, "Just roll with it and say hi."

She looked again at the doorway, then at him, ". . . Wanna dance?" she asked.

He grinned, that was a good start too, "Yeah."

She took his hand to take him back into the room, but she hesitated at the doorway. He smiled, and took the lead to take her along the wall, away from the main crowd to get some space. It wasn't music they were used to dancing to, and it wasn't a type that Johnny really felt was okay to rock out for, but in the end they settled for a sort-of slow dance, Mavis looking like she was getting more relaxed as they did, and Johnny had a quiet happy moment when she hugged him in the dance.

The crowd was starting to spread, but they blended in, until another dancer shoved against Johnny, who had to move around awkwardly to avoid stepping on the giant croc monster guy's tail. He grinned nervously as Mavis laughed, and they were getting back into the dance when a freaky reptilian hand grabbed the back of Jonathan's shirt. The young man yelped as he was dragged off the ground, Mavis panicking.

"Woah, hey, hey, hey!" Jonathan protested, struggling, then stared at the freaky eyes, yellow and bright, and now glaring at him like that one time he'd volunteered at a zoo and had to face hungry animals who looked at him exactly like that. He didn't think this guy would be pacified with steak, though. ". . . Hi." Johnny said uncertainly, waving.

The monster growled, showing an impressive set of very sharp teeth inside of his mouth.

". . . English. Tourist. I thought something bumped into me." he rumbled.

"Sorry." Jonathan laughed, uneasy, "My bad. But hey, good crowd tonight, huh?"

His captor nodded, but instead of letting him go, it lifted him higher, yellow eyes squinting. "You are a human." he observed, sounding a bit ticked.

"Ahhh, yup, last I checked, yup. Funny world, I right?" Johnny managed to say, the hold on his shirt nearly cutting him off.

"Humans aren't allowed here."

"He's with me." Jonathan heard Mavis speak up, and felt her tugging on his leg, "Let him go, alright? He's my guest."

Jonathan watched the dude look down at Mavis, and the guy laughed of all things, "That is a joke, yes?"

The other monsters were watching, and Mavis tugged on Jonathan's leg again, growling between her teeth. The alligator guy let Johnny go with a smirk.

". . . Woah." Johnny said to the floor, then got up and brushed himself off, watching the monster. What did guys that huge _eat_?

"You okay?" he heard Mavis ask, and he nodded, "We're cool, right?" he asked the monster, and jumped back slightly when it scowled.

"No. You are a smelly _human_. Leave."

Jonathan frowned. He didn't smell _that _bad, did he? "Isn't that kind of racist?"

The guy hissed slowly, and Mavis stood in front of Johnny, "He's with me," she repeated, "It's allowed."

"Mavis..." Jonathan said uneasily, putting a hand on her shoulder, "It's alright. We can just―"

"It's fine." she snapped, taking his hand to take them to a part of the room away from the ticked monster, but it rushed around to block them, snarling.

"_He_ can't stay." he told them.

"Yes, he can." she replied, glaring.

"Don't make me―"

"_Yes __he_ _CAN!_" Mavis retorted, and then she ROARED. Blue eyes to red, kitten teeth to saber tooth fangs, there in one moment, gone the next.

The music and the muttering stopped, and Jonathan slowly got out of his instinctive cringe pose.

The croc stared down at the vampire girl, dazed, before something lassoed him around the scaly fist he'd been raising, yanking it down.

"That's enough drink for you for the night, Mkhai, leave the kids alone." a voice scolded, and a mummy woman appeared from the crowd, one of her wrappings being the roping. "Let's get some good ol' Nile water back in you." She herded the other monster firmly to the door, before smiling at the two newcomers, but mostly at Mavis. "Thought I knew your face," she chuckled at the girl, "Martha's Mavis, right? Stick around, I'll get right back to you." Then she rounded back on the croc, hissing something in Arabic. It was a strange contrast, a huge bulky beast being scolded by what was pretty much a well-preserved husk. The crocodile man looked to protest before a couple of what looked like his pals came too, taking him from the mummy woman and out of the bar, and the crowd resumed as normal.

Mavis and Johnny quickly retreated to the room's edge again to sit at a booth and stare at each other.

"She knows your mom?" Johnny finally asked, "And by the way, awesome roar back there," he added, thrilled, "I didn't know you could _do _that!"

"Me neither." she mumbled, looking unsettled, then dragged her hand across her face, "Ugh, don't tell Dad I did that, please."

He looked at her, confused, "What, he'll be mad?"

"He'll make a big event out of it and give me lessons on how to do it better." she stated flatly. Jonathan then grinned at her, mocking Dracula's accent, "'Mavey-Wavey'," he jokingly chided "'The form is good, but you must _project_ from the back of the throat, showing more of those fierce fangs!' Rawr!" he made a face, pretending to snarl.

She grinned, shoving him, "I didn't look like _that!_" she laughed.

He paused, "Woah, no wait, I can do it, hang on." he protested, fingers dragging at the corners of his mouth to try and imitate that vicious toothiness. Instead of laughing though, he noticed she was just staring at some point below his nose. "Wha'?" he managed to ask through his facial contortions.

He watched her blush and look away, "You...have nice teeth..." she mumbled, and he stopped trying to mangle his face, bemused, "Thanks. . . I had braces once, y'know." he thought to add, and before she could ask what those were, the mummy woman had found them again, sliding in across from them.

"Sorry about that brat," she apologized, showing surprisingly clean if gapped teeth when she spoke, "He's really not that bad. I think he just got conked by a human's speedboat earlier and couldn't shake it. Don't take any of it personally." she added to Johnny, "It really is fine if you're here."

Jonathan nodded, grinning, "It's cool, ma'am."

Then she surprised them both by getting up and grabbing Mavis by the shoulders and hugging her, "Oh-h-h, you've just gotten so _big, _baby girl!" she exclaimed, and Mavis uncertainly patted the bony, bandaged back. Then the woman backed off again quickly, chuckling, blue eyes glowing from the head wrapping, "Sorry, sorry, you just―you look so much like your mama."

"You knew her?" Mavis asked, and the woman nodded, and began rummaging at the bandages near her hip, "You bet I knew her. We were what you might call 'sistahs' or 'homies'―_that's what they call them these years, right? homies?_―way back in the day, until she 'zinged', then I was the bridesmaid," she laughed, holding out some pictures to them, "I'm Mara, by the way."

"Dad never told me about you..." Mavis said out loud, looking over the two pictures, Jonathan looking over her shoulder. One was a small, painted picture designed to go into a locket, showing a little baby Mavis, playing with her feet while staring at the viewer with big blue eyes, little blunt stubs of fangs showing in her gums. Jonathan thought it was completely adorable and weird to see at the same time, but good weird. The other, an old sepia-toned photo, worn at the corners and slightly faded by sun and time, showed Mavis's mother and Mara posing in front of one of the Giza pyramids with fanged and tombstone grins, Martha wearing a big, funny hat to shade her, the both of them decked out in full gaudy Egyptian finery and obviously loving the goofiness.

The mummy shrugged, smile turning a bit wistful, "Martha was the only thing your father and I had in common," she admitted, "After she...after she died, well..." There was a silence between the three of them, Johnny looking with concern at Mavis, who'd stared at the old photograph. "I'm sorry." Mara added. The young vampire shook her head, handing back the pictures with an equally wistful smile, "It's okay." Mavis replied easily, "I'm glad to meet you."

"And I'm glad to finally see you again. Don't the decades just fly?" Mara returned, grinning, before rounding on Jonathan, who jumped as he was startled out of the somberness, "And I want to be filled in on them. A vampire, the cherished Princess of the Hotel, out in the sweet, _sunny_ desert, in a monster pub, with a human." she peered at Johnny, grinning, "A pretty cute human at that. Your lover, Mavis?"

"Boyfriend!" Mavis quickly told her over Jonathan's wordless squeak, the two of them blushing.

"Nuance," the mummy smoothed over, smirking, sitting down again with her chin on her hands, "C'mon, give an old _ka_ something to tell the Sand Gardening Club about!"

Johnny and Mavis looked at her, and then at each other, before smiling and shrugging, and told their story from the moment a Johnny-stein had wildly flown into Mavis. The enthusiasm was shared between them, one sometimes supplying for the other and vice versa, at points laughing or smiling or blushing or cringing, adding in certain parts, carefully omitting others, using broad gestures, imitations and sound effects, and even showing the mummy Johnny's camera. When they were finished, getting some water to slake their thirst, Mara grinned at them.

"You two are adorable, you know that? It's been a while since I've seen such fresh love," she commented happily, bringing up the twin blushes again, "And you've met my husband, too, what are the odds?" she mused, which caused Mavis to choke and Johnny to outright spit-take. "_Murray_?!" they asked incredulously, and Mara burst out laughing.

"Oh, that―?! That punk?! Hah, oh _spirits_ no! Oh-h, my _gya-hah_―!" Mara gasped, laughing breathlessly, fist even thumping the table.

Did mummies need to breathe? Jonathan wondered.

"_Hah...bwa-ha-hah..._ Oh-h no, no, no, I meant that dry old _dummy _you kids met earlier: you met Ptankh..." she wheezed, recovering.

Jonathan frowned, "Tank?" he tried, and Mara shrugged, chuckling, "Close enough." she allowed.

"He doesn't look like one." Johnny went on confusedly, and the mummy's smirk turned into something creepily wistful, "Oh, he was one, back in the day..." she sighed.

Mavis and Jonathan shifted uncomfortably in their seats as the Mara visibly went off down the back streets of Memory Lane.

Mara suddenly blinked, then shook herself, coughing, "Ahem. Pardon. Well, any way, you two are planning on going on the Nile, next, right?" She smiled as they nodded, "Why don't you hang around this small place for a while?" she asked, "I could give you the local's tour. You know, the _old _locals." she hinted, grinning. Jonathan immediately brightened up, "You mean like sewers or something?" he asked excitedly, and the mummy snorted. "Kid," she began, "If there's one thing to be said about sewers, it's that they're pieces of crap; _full_ of crap. Other things to be said is that they're cramped, dark, and excessively unpleasant places to go through, if you'll remember the purposes for sewers. I don't care _what _those moving picture things are telling you. No," she grinned, "Around here, we monsters reside in the Underground. We really _are _in people's basements, kiddies."

They were both staring, Johnny looking psyched while Mavis looked stunned. A community of monsters, coexisting with humans? "Never heard of this stuff." the young vampire commented.

Mara smirked, "It's a story." she told them, "One best told at the source. You in?"

The couple glanced at each other, then at the mummy, and grinned.

* * *

**Author's note: **_Aaand this once again flies out of my hands and looks like it will be another chapter longer. Don't worry, the next chapter promises encounters of the fluffy and intimate nature. I apologize that I cannot seem to write simple 'sexiness' without wanting to throw in an overdose of context and corniness. Bwuh. Well, c'est la vie._

Sincerely, the hatchling


	3. Chapter 3

They hung around the bar first, a lot longer than they'd planned on, but the mummy hadn't minded, even encouraging it.

Johnny was borrowing one of the skeleton's guitars and livening up the crowd.

"_Of_ a_ll the awesome places and the people I've seen,_

_While walking 'round the world with my Vampire Queen,_

_Only one thing really puts a zing inside me,_

_The coolest li'l thing, and that's my Vampire Queen!_"

Mavis blushed while Mara chuckled, "Kid's not subtle, is he?" the older monster commented. The vampire shook her head, pleased.  
'Subtle' was the last thing her human could be.

"_Rollin' like a coaster, zingin' like a bee,_

_Just rocking 'round the world with my Vampire Queen!_

_Yeah, me and my new homies here all making a scene!_

_Shaking up the world just for my Vampire Queen!_

_WOO!_"

Johnny laughed, and eyes the dancing crowd in front of him, grinning.

"Yeah! Crowd surf!" he crowed, launching himself off the stage, and once again nostalgically landing on his face.

". . . Awesome!" he said with a goofy smile, before climbing back on stage to resume.

The two women watched with amusement while Johnny engaged a punkish-looking mummy in a good-natured riff-off. "Well. When your man's done immersing himself in the culture, and the floorboards, and pretty much broadcasting his affections to the country," Mara quipped, grinning, "I'll take you two to my humble abode. Maybe we could get that 'girl time'."

Mavis smiled, scratching the back of her head in embarrassment, "I'd like that." she agreed.

Mara nodded, and then leaned in, acting conspiratorial, "I even have _wi-fi_..." the mummy giggled.

"You have _what?!_" Johnny suddenly exclaimed from behind Mavis.

* * *

. . .

* * *

"Oh, man, oh, man, this is amazing! Lady, you're _awesome._" the human chuckled, messing with wires and cables connecting to a clunky laptop he'd unearthed from his backpack―Mara had managed to recruit a were-jackal to recover the travelers' things to her place―while fervently texting on his phone. Mara watched from the wall, clearly amused, while Mavis watched from the ceiling, clearly fascinated. The vampire had seen all of this before, but it was always interesting to her to watch Johnny work with the strange contraptions when he had the chance to.

Johnny finally sat down, staring at the Skype website, occasionally glancing at the phone, bouncing on his seat.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mo-on..." he muttered, then the other end opened, "YES!" he whooped, punching the air.

Mavis landed beside him, staring at the screen, and the couple blinked as a black, silky cravat along with the lower half of a familiar face came into view.

". . . Dad?" Mavis asked uncertainly, and Dracula beamed, or at least, from what they could see, "This thing is working? Hello? Frank, you told me this thing was working..." they heard him mutter, and the image shook and blurred as a finger tapped the screen, jostling it, "Hello? Oh, _hello_, my little sugar skull!" he smiled at Mavis, "I am happy to see you have not lost your lovely pallor, at least from what this nefarious..." the mouth scowled, "_Machine _shows me..."

Jonathan chuckled, waving at the laptop's camera piece, "Hey, hey, Drac! Uh, you gotta adjust your camera, man..."

The mouth quirked, "Yes, hello to you as well, Jonathan." it muttered, and then the mouth's owner bent down, filling the screen with a very large squinting eye, "I do not understand: I have read that wretched instruction list you gave me, and plugged this in correctly after many long and trying nights, and it looks to serve its dubious purpose. I see _you_, don't I? . . . _And yet you dare tell me insects **still** crawl within and throughout this wretched, accursed thing's infernal insides?!_"

"They're called _bugs_, Dracula, just―look, you only need to try tweaking the camera mount!" Jonathan retorted, agitated at being shouted at.

There was a moment of bickering between Mavis's boyfriend and her dad, Mara and Mavis stifling their laughter in the background as Dracula finally managed to get the cam at an acceptable angle. The older vampire backed off to scowl at the human, lifting his hands sarcastically as if to say 'See?', before grinning at his daughter. "Hello, my little Mavis," he said affectionately, "How are things going? You are doing well, yes? No strange, foreign diseases? No nasty sunburn? No bad food? No..." his eyes glared briefly at Johnny, "_Problems_?"

Mavis smiled, perching behind Johnny and shaking her head, "I'm having an awesome time, Dad." she assured him, "Check this: we even found more monsters!"

Dracula blinked, "You found what?" he asked, then leaped back in shock, "YOU!" he accused, pointing, eyes wide with what looked like anger and surprise.

Mara waved cheerfully from behind the couple, wearing a surprisingly huge, creepy grin that nearly split her face in half, making them jump, "Me!" she agreed, "Nice to see ya, _Chops!_ You haven't aged a decade, seems like. You gotta tell a girl your secret!"

Drac remained frozen for a moment, teeth bared and clenched while his eyes slightly darted between his viewers, before straightening and brushing himself off, scowling, "A brisk flight every evening and plenty of fresh moonlight." he commented bluntly. Then he blinked, remembering his audience, and plastered a grin on his face, "I have not seen you in...quite a long time, Mrs. Massri." Then the polite smile quirked, and it bared a fang, "And how is that husband of yours faring?"

Mara's smile somehow got even wider, "You tell me." she replied sweetly, lips not moving, before dropping the smile.

". . . I get it. Guess I'll leave you kids to it." she told Johnny and Mavis, "I'm gonna go do, uh, I've got some sweeping..."

Mavis glared at the screen after the mummy left, "She was being nice to us, Dad. This is her place, and―and _her_ why-fee." she scolded. Jonathan nodded, "That was kind of harsh, man." the human agreed reproachfully, glancing with concern to the doorway where Mara had gone.

Dracula spluttered, "You two do not know that woman!" he protested, gesturing behind them as well as he could from a screen, "She...she's―...!" he gave up, growling. He looked like he was thinking, and then he slowly nodded, "It...it _had _been a long time..." he allowed. Then he nodded again, breathing out, "You're right. That was rude of me," he looked at them again, apologetic, "Right... What's in the past stays there, yes? . . . Could you...go apologize to your host for me, Jonathan?" Dracula glanced at Mavis, "I would also like time to speak with my daughter, and then with you."

Jonathan hesitated, before he nodded, kissing Mavis on the cheek before standing up to brush off his knees and find Mara.

Mavis waved, smiling happily, before the sound of a throat clearing snapped her attention back to the screen, where Dracula was raising an eyebrow.

She scowled, blushing, combing her hair behind her ears, "What?"

Dracula rolled his eyes, "An old bat like me cannot judge," he sighed, looking at her pointedly to emphasize that he was still going to, anyway. Then he smiled, genuinely, "Young love is a precious thing, Mavis. I am happy for you and Jonathan taking this trip together." he pouted, "Even if it means my little ghoul is leaving me for her adventures... While I lurk in the halls of the hotel... Alone..."

"_Dad_," Mavis protested, "You're guilt-tripping. You _promised_ me you wouldn't guilt-trip."

Dracula laughed, raising his hands placatingly, "I'm sorry, Mavey, it's just, I just want you to know that you are missed, back here..."

The young vampire girl sighed, relaxing enough to smile, "I know. I miss you too, Daddy." she replied honestly, shifting to get comfortable, "But this has just been so _awesome_, Dad: I've ridden on trains and boats and camels and one time there was this bull back in Crate―no, _Crete_―but that was an accident and I was trying to save Johnny from these angry human acrobats and―"

"Slow down, slow down, sweet fang!" he cut her off, laughing, "I would love to hear of your time in the world, and...with Johnny. But," His smile lessened a bit as he looked her over, and he looked uncomfortable, "Johnny is, in fact, who I want to talk to you about, Mavis. Young love is precious, yes, but it can also be... Well... _Stupid_..." he said bluntly. He watched as she began to fidget, nodding to himself, sighing and looking more drawn-in, "A child still needs a father, I remind myself, so I cannot kill him... Mavis, I would be lying if I said I hadn't had some hopes, but I want you to know that Daddy will always love you and your children, no matter what you―"

"We haven't _done_ anything!" Mavis quickly interrupted, mortified, flushed like the flesh of a blood orange, "That wasn't what I―you can't think that―we've only been going out a couple _months_, I mean, geez, _Dad_ did you _have _to think that we―?! UUUUuuuugh..." her palm ground into her forehead while Dracula blushed, apologizing profusely to his possibly traumatized daughter.

"It is a logical assumption! I was not born yesteryear!" the father then protested, "An attractive young couple who have zinged, spending lots of time together in strange romantic places, and―..." He coughed as Mavis glared from around her hand, and straightened himself, "Right, none of my business. Thankfully." he muttered aside, and then looked at her again, still looking uncomfortable, "I just...I just want to know that you are...keeping safe."

Mavis sighed, smirking, the remnants of a blush still there around her cheeks, "Yes, Dad. It's fine. _We're_ fine. No, um, no funny business..."

At least, she thought to herself, not yet.

The vampires blinked as voices rose from the background on Dracula's end.

"Mavis?! Is that Mavis?!"

Dracula was shoved aside and a familiar hairdo appeared in the camera view as a voice screeched, "Oh goodness, Wanda, I can see Mavis!"

The vampire girl could hear Wanda laughing before the wife of Franklin N. Stein spoke up again, "Mavis?! Mavey, honey, can you hear me in there?!"

Mavis chuckled behind her hand while Mrs. Stein shouted at the computer, Wanda smiling in the background.

"Auntie Eunice, yes, I'm fine!" Mavis laughed, "It's like a phone, you can speak normally."

Eunice blinked, backing up and grinning, "Aw, isn't that fancy! Just let me look at you! Well, look at you! You're lookin' gorgeous, baby girl, I'm really lovin' the khaki thing there. Now, tell me all the details, hon. Was the elopement at a formal church or one of those little drop-by office gigs I've been hearin' about?"

"Neither!" Mavis exclaimed, hearing her dad start dramatically bemoaning his fate in the background, "Nothing's _happened_, Eunice!"

Frank's wife blinked again, this time frowning, "What? _Nothing_? What, has Johnny gone _blind _or somethin'?!"

Mavis palmed her face.

* * *

. . .

* * *

Johnny found Mara a couple of rooms over, sweeping at a pile of sand. Or rather, sweeping _around_ a pile of sand. She moved the pile to the middle of the floor, or to the corner, using simple, even strokes of the broom to accomplish...nothing. Jonathan watched, confused. "An aspect of Sand Gardening," she told him without looking up, a small smile on her face, "And a way to pass the time, a catharsis. Whenever I get it to be something, it's something else when I come back. Sand is all about change, riding with the wind and wearing down all things with its change, even stone..." She looked up at him, blinking, "That's right. I said I'd tell you kids the story of the place, right? Where's Mavis?"

"Still talking with her dad. He says he's sorry." he told her, and she rolled her eyes. "I'll take that, I guess." she replied simply, and he looked around the room. Except for that pile of sand and a couple of gardening tools, like a couple trowels and a rake, this room was empty. Actually, a lot of the rooms she'd shown them were kind of empty, like she didn't really live here so much as stop in. He heard her chuckle and quickly refocused on her, "Sorry! Your place is cool!" he said quickly, and she snorted, "This place is a dump," she retorted bluntly, grinning, "A cleaner one than some, but... Eh, when you get my age, you don't really need much, y'know?" When he couldn't find anything to say she laughed again, saying, "Sorry, sorry, don't mean to be a downer."

"How do you know English so well?" Jonathan asked suddenly, surprising her, "And what's you and Drac's problem? Is there something wrong with your husband? Why are you all like," he gestured vaguely, "Like _this_ when your husband was all like," he stumbled around in place, holding his arms out and groaning, _"BlaargheyarghyaahIwannaeatyoureeeeyes?!"_ he stopped and waited, an open expression of patient curiosity on his face. When she stared, holding the broom slightly defensively, like she was preparing to whack him with it, and he added, "You can tell the other story after we're done talking with Dracula. Sorry if I'm acting rude, I'm just interested..." She continued staring for a few moments.

It took her a while to get out of that painful-looking laughing fit.

After she caught her breath, she told him she'd tell him later, but also said, "I honestly hadn't laughed that much in ages."

* * *

. . .

* * *

Johnny and Mavis then traded off, high-fiving in passing. Johnny thought Mavis looked kind of stressed. She'd told him she was fine, but she had been looking pretty red. There wasn't any sun down here to burn her. Did vampires catch fevers? Dracula looked a bit frustrated too, but the guy seemed to relax when Jonathan came in. The human grinned and waved, sitting down to get comfortable.

"So what's the haps, Drac-man?" he asked, smiling, "How's the hotel going?"

Dracula waved a hand absently, "Eh, it goes well enough, I suppose. We have a...a _website _now, that the spiders are very good at managing, surprisingly." the vampire commented grudgingly, "It establishes more contacts with the monster community, and publicizes well, I will give it that." Jonathan waited expectantly, Dracula staring, before the vampire rolled his eyes, "Yes, yes, I've looked more into the publicity thing. We've acquired good contacts in that human town, as long as it's understood that we allow human tourism to the hotel _only_ during the Hallowe'en season and New Year's, which, _yes_, keeps us more informed about humankind and more 'well-rounded as a societal establishment'." Drac air-quoted, scowling, "I do not get what the big deal is. I am going to have another interview with a _human _reporter next week. I _hate _interviews, with all of the _note_-_taking_ and the clicking _pens_ and the side-blinding _questions_ and that disturbing sense of inhuman _predation__―I get chills!" _the hotel manager hissed as Jonathan laughed. "But things are fine, enough about my woes, I want to hear about you and Mavis," he continued, that genial smile turning into a glare, "Mark this, Jonathan: if anything harms my baby girl I will not hesitate to hold you responsible and _accountable_. I have told you this, yes?" Jonathan nodded wordlessly, used to yet still wary of this. Dracula nodded, "Now," he continued bluntly, "What have you two done?"

Jonathan swallowed, "Uh, not sure what you're asking ab―"

"Believe it or not I have been a young man, myself." Dracula interrupted blandly, "I know the things that come after a zing, Johnny. What have you done?"

The human swallowed again, feeling sweaty despite the cool, dry room, "Nothing that would make you want to drain my blood, sir."

Besides really, really _intense _close-calls.

Dracula leaned in as the screen would allow him, scrutinizing blue eyes flicking slightly over the human, and the vampire backed up and smiled, "Well good, _glad_ to hear it. I am happy that my child and perhaps soon to be _son-in-law _are keeping things, eh, simple. You are keeping well, yes? No troubles?"

"Fine in finances, food, and friends, Drac." Johnny reassured him, relaxing slightly.

"Good. Now, advising time." Dracula commanded, grimly holding up a worn and battered-looking device.

"How does one get these _pager_ things to work without them throwing fits as if possessed? It beeps as if it means to swear at me, and never does what I order it to, though I am restraining myself from smashing it and casting the remains into an oubliette in favor of listening to you and your..._wisdom_, for lack of a better word. Why can't I stick to the knights? The knight system is much more dependable..."

"Pagers are for more on the down-low, and are kind of faster in some ways." Jonathan chuckled weakly, and settled himself in for a carefully worded explanation...

* * *

. . .

* * *

". . . You've got Martha's nose." Mara commented wistfully, sighing.

Mavis absently rubbed her nose in response, "Uh, thanks..." she replied uneasily. They were drawing pictures in a puddle of sand of all things. It was fun, but kind of weird.

She thought about how to approach this with the mummy, but instead the vampire shrugged to herself, deciding to roll with it.

"What was my mom like?" she asked, straightforward.

The mummy blinked at the girl, "Your dad never told you?"

Mavis shrugged uncomfortably, "It wasn't that he..." she tried explaining, "It's just, he never really got over...well... It's hard for him..."

The Egyptian tilted her head to stare, before sighing again, "I see... I probably am too hard on the guy..." Mara then smiled, drawing the deceased vampiress's likeness in the sand, "She was a royal riot." the mummy admitted, "Always dressing up, always out on the town, enjoying unlife and living it to the full. She was kind of an artist, really. Always sketching, always writing poetry..." she looked up, "That old bat-brain had to have saved some of that girl's poetry?" she asked anxiously, and Mavis nodded, smiling a little fanged grin.

"She'd written me one for my 118th birthday," she told her happily, "For whenever I found my zing."

Mara squealed, "I remember that one!" her face fell wryly, "118? Dang, kiddo, you grew up too fast."

"You were there when she wrote it?" Mavis asked, excited, "There's more, right?"

"Yes, and Nuit, yes!" the mummy replied, equally excited, and shot up on her feet, "Agh, I remember the stuff she wrote back when you were...well...we both had some wine at the time, spirit of celebration and stuff, alright, it sounded like a laugh we could have when you were older, 'cause you were clearly gonna be a cutie when you grew up so we thought that―" Mara grinned uneasily, looking caught between humor and nostalgia and embarrassment, "Ahh, you just have to read it! Young mother humor! Coming of age and all that dung! Let me go find it!"

So it was a bemused young vampire girl that was left sitting next to a puddle of sand, while the old mummy woman went to a small alcove (crudely veiled by a tatty curtain) and began throwing all kinds of things out, muttering to herself. Mavis watched and dodged what looked like maracas, fish bones, and what was probably a broken canopic jar that shattered further with a dull clunky crash. Johnny walked in just in time to catch a faceful of moldy cushion, jumping back with a gagging yelp.

Mavis chuckled, rescuing him from the ratty remains, brushing off his shoulders. He had nice shoulders, she thought.

"Hey, you," she greeted, once he was breathing air and not fabric, "How'd it go?"

He grinned at her, but then blinked, looking over her shoulder at the mummy, whose mutterings were growing more agitated. To Mavis's curiosity, Jonathan took her hand to take her just outside of the room, where he faced her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "It's..." he began, hesitantly, "The talk went good, the hotel's going good, but... Aw, man, I know we've both suspected this for some time, Mavis, but your dad is...he's...it's gotten to where..."

Mavis blinked, surprised at his seriousness, "Johnny, what...?"

Jonathan sighed, hanging his head, "I really don't know how to say this, Mavis, but we need to face it. Your dad is..." and then she saw his grin, "A technophobe..."

He laughed aloud when she blinked, "It's incurable at his age―I mean, _stage!_"

She smacked him in the shoulder, unable to help a grin herself, "_Psh!_ Don't scare me like that!"

He backed off, chuckling, giving a thumbs-up, "Hey, hey, least I'm learning how to scare, right?"

That made her roll her eyes, smirking, "You wish."

"No-ho-ho, admit it, I was totally scaring you there, said it yourself." he laughed, moving around to face her when she tried turning away.

She raised an eyebrow at him, still smirking, and then her pupils suddenly expanded until the irises were little, thin, ice blue rings in her eyes.

"Scared?" she asked, smiling, standing on her tiptoes, making her boyfriend lean back slightly. But he surprised her by grinning, "Hmm-mm, _ma_-ay-be." he hummed, leaning back in until his forehead rested on hers, nose to nose. "I like your eyes, too, y'know." he mentioned quietly, smirking.

She blinked, and then chuckled, backing up nervously, unable to keep any kind of face with _that_.

"Um, that's cool..." she mumbled, and was surprised again when he moved with her instead of letting her back off, acting casual with it, "I like lots of things about you," he continued, grinning, "Like..." he glanced at some point below her eyes, "I kinda like your teeth, too. I mean, you said _mine_ were nice, right?" He let their foreheads meet again, still smiling when she was staring like a deer in the headlights, her eyes widened adorably, "Well... Ditto." he said simply. Mavis blinked, a gentle pink tinge flushing around her cheekbones.

This was when whole strings of shouted gibberish erupted from the room the mummy was in, making them both jump. It sounded like Arabic mixed with English mixed with every expletive known to mankind and then some. Jonathan had automatically covered Mavis's ears even after it went quiet.

Mara stomped out of the room, a semi-plucked feather boa draped awkwardly around her head like a turban. She glared at the offending trailing end that hung in front of her face before flailing it off, teeth grinding. Still scowling, she glanced to the side and saw them standing there like a comical totem pole.

She slumped, "I left that dang book at _Ptankh's_." she grumbled.

They all stared at each other.

". . . So-o... Road trip?" Johnny asked hopefully.

Mara blinked, and suddenly smirked, "I can go you one better, kiddies."

* * *

. . .

* * *

They were at the edge of the town, facing the open expanse of the desert, dotted here and there with stubborn, sand-swallowed structures and rocks and old trash and what might've once been a road. The couple were newly backpacked and bemused in the dusk while Mara paced quietly, muttering and kicking her feet in the sand and at plastic bags from time to time, seeming to be lost in her second thoughts.

"Anyway, uh, what book was she talking about?" Johnathan questioned quietly.

"It has my mom's old poetry and stuff in it, apparently." she murmured back.

"Oh... Awesome."

They shuffled in place, waiting patiently and kind of awkwardly for Mara to finish her inner monologue or whatever she was doing.

Mavis moved some of her hair behind her ear, nervous, "So you, um, you said you...liked my teeth...?"

He looked at her, smiling and opening his mouth to reply.

"O-_KAY_!"

They jumped when Mara stomped back to them, grinning, "Okay," she repeated, "Kids, this is a search and retrieval mission only! All you need to know about Ptankh is that he doesn't get out much. He's just, uh, kind of old-fashioned. You know those kinds of people, right?" Jonathan nodded sagely, while Mavis just look confused. Mara nodded back, apparently satisfied, "Right. That should sum up the main issue with him. Now we get to the _fun_ stuff. History!" she gestured dramatically out into the desert, "Walk with me."

They blinked as she just began walking out into the desert, a trailing bandage making a faint weaving trail in the sand behind her. They looked at each other, then back at her, before shrugging, following along. For a while there was nothing but the sound of the wind and the sand scuffing under their feet. "Do either of you know where mummies come from?" Mara asked suddenly.

Jonathan stumbled for a moment, before swallowing, "Um..." he frowned, "Is this gonna be one of those 'when someone loves another someone very much' and...?"

That made the mummy laugh while Mavis blushed, "I love your brain, boy! But no, no, it's a simple fact that's right in front of your eyes."

They watched her back as she raised her arms to the stars that were showing up on the horizon, grinning at them over her shoulder, "Mummies are dead humans, honey, sweet and simple!" She slowed down a bit to walk in-between them, chuckling at their stunned faces, "If you think about it, it's not too much of a blurred line." she added gently, "It's kind of like changing a citizenship, right? Now, mummies are those dead humans that just so happened to not get the memo that they were dead. Or kind of ignored that memo, I dunno. Or heck, maybe the moving mummies were the ones who turned out _right_. Doesn't happen to all of the stiffs." she grinned, "But when it does happen, the early stages of the process are _squicky_, and we're not here for a spiritual biology lesson. Now, another question. How long have mummies been around, huh?" she paused, her arms around their shoulders, "A long freaking time, that's what." she playfully tugged them closer, "Think about it: Egypt, China, South America... It was a pretty big deal. The Egyptian ones tend to have a higher success rate, though. Might be something in the air. So, that means the first mummies who got up and shuffled around all _'Iwannaeatyoureyesbleahbleahbleah'_ were showing up a _very long time ago_. That's a stereotype, by the way, none of us ate or try to eat eyes or any other body parts. I don't know where _that_ came from. Mind your step."

Jonathan made an 'urk' sound when they both realized the sand was giving a lot more under their feet, rolling softly over their ankles.

Mara kept leading them on, raising her voice slightly over the gentle hiss and rush of the sand. "So it makes sense that if living mummies showed up a long time ago, humans started knowing about them a long time ago. So it wasn't too much of a stretch when the other things that went bump in the night showed up. So it became a thing. Kind of like those old kooky relatives no one really talks about but lets them show up at the reunions for a drink. Monster-human relations have _history_, children. So, how did these relations work?" she glanced at them, before winking, "_Quietly_. Not everyone wants anyone to know about those kooky relatives. Or at least I can speak for my place. I said watch your step," she chided to Mavis, who'd been trying to yank her knee free from a mini sand dune, "They put us up in places of stone," Mara continued easily, smiling, "Like retirement, kinda. They put us in the places of stone to live along with 'em, then below 'em when the sand started rising. And through all that millenia of mummifying and masonry and building and people dying and people being born? Well, it's all built up on top of the Underground, and the Underground grew with it. Flesh on the bones, new on the old, all that jazz, and the sand just keeps rising. There's history in stone, kids, but the memory's in the _sand_. Don't choke now."

They were slogging up to their waists in sand, but when the mummy had a stronger grip on them, it started giving away more easily, and Mavis and Johnny were really only paying half an ear at this point, not sure whether to scream or laugh when the sand slipped under them and flowed around them and closed over them.

* * *

. . .

* * *

They burst up from the desert in a roaring spray of sand, sliding down the dune with whoops and laughter and screeches.

"SAND!" Mara crowed, sitting up and slapping her hand on it gleefully, "_Nothing_ beats traveling it!"

"Bones!" Jonathan yelled, jumping up and shaking himself up, coughing, his hair looking like a dusty broom, "There were―there were alligators―fish―birds―made. Of. Bones! Moving fossils! Mavis, did you _see_ that?!" "I saw that!" the vampire squealed, patting at the sand excitedly, as if trying to dig up what they'd left behind, "_Rabies_, Johnny, there was a ferryman or something down there, he waved at us!"

"_How _did we see that?!" Johnny laughed, sitting down suddenly, spitting and making a face as he felt the sand grains grind between his teeth, "Oh, _gah_, that was so awesome and so―_pfhhf_―so reminds me of that one family vacation to the beach. One of my cousins, August. _Aghfpfft! _Ugh, yep... He dug me up afterwards, so it was cool. Oh, wow, the stuff's in my _pockets!_"

"Glad to please." Mara chuckled, brushing off her bandages, and Mavis and Johnny saw the same rough pyramid they'd left a few days ago, looming in the darkness like a crumbling turtle shell. Mara turned to it, smiling grimly, "Right, just go in there, get it over with, get it done, and get out. No problem-o, so I should just―" she blinked, actually looking at the structure. ". . . Man, this thing is depressing." she muttered, and then her eyes narrowed, "What the―wait, did he let the door cave in? . . . _He let the freaking door cave in?!"_

Her demeanor instantly shifted, going from hesitance to a dark, angry scowl.

"_PtaaaAAANKH!_"

The young couple watched nonplussed as she stomped over and into the decayed opening in the front slab, growling.

They followed hesitantly, hearing her shout.

_"Dangit, Ptankh, I'm gone for one century and already this place is falling apart?! What is wrong with you, the scarabs are everywhere! Do you even sweep?!"_

Jonathan flinched as a familiar groaning erupted from the dark depths of the corridors, and they heard Mara again.

_"Speak English, rice cake, it's not the freaking 4th century any more! Look at this place!"_

The groaning turned to discernible Arabic before to their surprise a deep, croaking voice in heavily accented English spoke up.

_"It is not my fault that the place is a wreck, Mara!" _they heard Ptankh protest angrily,_ "It is all those thieves breaking in and setting off the traps that does it! Do you know how long it took me to set those things, and what happens? Some gimmicky yoick in a ridiculous hat comes in and sets off every single one of them without even having the decency to stay in them! You would think he would try to avoid the cursed things but no-o and on top of that there are those insolent sand surfers and Ra's Witnesses and―!"_

_"Well maybe if someone actually took the time to fix the dang door they wouldn't have these problems, now would they?!"_

_"What is wrong with the door?!"_

_"The big honking hole in it!"_

_"It was fine when I checked it!"_

_"And when did you last check it, Ptankh? Huh? Tell me!"_

_"Well it is―you are―wait, you are finally shambling back after all this time just to criticize the stonework?!"_

_"No! I'm **dropping by **after all this time to criticize the stonework!"_

"Maybe this is a bad time..." Mavis suggested uneasily.

_"Oh, oh, and guess what I brought with me, Ptankh, go on, guess! I brought **visitors**, Ptankh!" _they heard her cackle.

_"You WHAT?!"_

"Too late." Jonathan commented, grinning nervously.

Mara came back towards them with a vicious grin, eyes narrow, and another pair of glowing eyes came from behind her, cold and looming.

Johnny blinked, waving, "Uh, hi. Tank, right? You're bigger than I remember." he greeted.

Then again, the human had been more focused on running away at the time.

The cold eyes narrowed sharply, _"Yo-o-ou..."  
_

* * *

. . ._  
_

* * *

". . . You know, I think we're all cool now. This wasn't nearly as bad as what my imagination thought it would be." Johnny thought aloud, smiling at Mavis. She nodded, smiling indulgently, before frowning as her fingers worked at the stubborn cocoon of bandages. Mara and Ptankh were still squabbling somewhere in the background. "And hey," he continued jokingly, "You get to see me tied up, right?"

That made her snort, and she grinned at him as she found the holding knot, "Yeah, but this isn't how I _want_ you tied up." she retorted sweetly, kissing him.

Jonathan only had time to blink and blush before she sliced the knot free with a briefly popped claw, and he fell _up_.

"_WOAHNONONO_―oh..."

Mavis caught his ankle before he fell all the way down, chuckling as he strained to look up at her, grinning at her, "_Woo_, that's a rush!" he laughed. She nodded, grinning as she walked along the ceiling towards the wall, holding on to him like a surreal balloon in an Escher gallery. They probably looked ridiculous, but it was pretty funny. She got him down safely to the floor, before dropping next to him to take his arm, "Let's go see if things are okay, now." she offered, and they walked together.

* * *

. . .

* * *

"You were taking _pictures_." Ptankh growled down at Johnny.

"You were in my home, and taking pictures with that irritating light thing. And screaming. Loudly. It gave me a headache."

Jonathan swallowed, feeling very small.

"But did you have to _hunt _the kid?" Mara scolded.

"Seemed best solution to me." the man muttered, and Jonathan was quick to take out the camera, "No, wait," the human protested, "I can delete the photos, here, look."

The skinny giant waved a hand, "I do not need to see." he told Jonathan, "I trust you will destroy them. But if that thing goes off again, I will destroy _it_. Understood?"

"Sure thing!" Johnny replied happily, focusing on putting the photos in the trash, pleased with a simple solution.

Ptankh nodded, and then scanned Mavis, before scowling, "Huh. So this is Martha's child."

"Be _nice_." Mara snarled, and the man chuckled, "Martha this, Martha that, Martha, Martha, Martha!" he replied, almost sneering at Mara, "Good for you, dear wife, good for you! Fine. Go. Take what you need and go. Everything is as you left it." He nodded at Jonathan, "Human." and then really looked at Mavis, who looked rather hurt. Jonathan stood protectively between her and Ptankh, before the mummy lightened a bit, ". . . I am sure you are a good child." he said, more kindly, before scowling at Mara, who had her arms crossed while she glowered, "Take care of your company, though." he warned.

The three watched as he loped back into the darkness, and then the two watched Mara grit her teeth and pull at her head bandages, "That insufferable―_grah!_"

She stomped in the opposite direction, jaw grinding, "Too much brine in his stuffing, that's what it is! C'mon, my chamber's this way."

Mavis and Johnny watched, and then looked at each other, Johnny smiling hopefully.

"I'll get her, you'll get him?" Mavis suggested after a moment.

"Way ahead of ya!" Jonathan chuckled, jogging off after Ptankh.

"Don't die!" she called after him.

"Don't worry!" she heard him reply, and she shrugged, laughing before going to follow Mara.

* * *

. . .

* * *

She found Mara pacing slowly around a chamber, presumably hers. Mara was looking at the walls, the things, wryly smirking, "He really didn't touch it." she said aloud to Mavis, "The guy really does hate changing things." ". . . Maybe he was just keeping it this way for you?" Mavis asked hesitantly, and Mara snorted, "_Psh_. The man's an OC pack rat, hon. Now let me see where I put that thing..."

Mara started rummaging through a pile of scrolls, before she hesitated, sighing and facing Mavis. Her smile quirked, "I know," she admitted, "I'm not the best example to tell you kids about love. Me and my husband... Well..." she gestured vaguely, "This is what you get when that love goes...stale. What can I say? We're old. But I don't see this for you, so don't worry."

Mavis shifted uncomfortably, speaking before Mara could start searching again, "Do you...do you _hate_ him or something?"

Mara paused, jawed thoughtfully, leaning against a wall, ". . . No. No, I don't," she admitted, "Can't stand the guy, but no, I can't hate him, either."

Mavis sat down, waiting.

Mara raised an eyebrow, "What? You wanna hear my 'love story'?"

"If that's okay." the vampire replied, grinning.

Mara rolled her eyes, "Book first, story later." she said bluntly, and went to a huge pile of tomes.

Mavis pouted as Mara steadfastly began ignoring her, sorting among the stony slabs.

"I just want to know more about my mom's best friend..." she finally sighed.

Said pile of tomes crashed clumsily to the ground.

They waited as the dust settled.

". . . Low blow, kiddo." the mummy grumbled.

Mavis smiled triumphantly at Mara's back.

The older monster looked over her shoulder at the younger, ". . . It's... Some of it's not what you might expect..." she warned.

Mavis listened anyway.

* * *

. . .

* * *

"I do not understand why you insist on following me when I make it clear I do not like your company."

"I don't mean anything by it. Mavis just wanted some girl time with Mara, and it's not cool to try and hear in on that, y'know?"

"No, I do not. If you want to maintain privacy, I can throw you outside. Through the wall if I have to."

"Aw, c'mon, man, this place is awesome! I can―uh―try to help with the traps or something?"

"Certainly. You can test them."

Jonathan laughed, and then Ptankh was in his face, snarling, "I do not joke, _human_." he growled, "If it were not for the sentiments of my wife, I would be sending you straight into the _scarab pit_. My home is not a place for noisy tourists or clueless _jesters_. It would be in both our interests for you to get your business over with quickly and be on your way just as such."

Jonathan frowned, "Okay, Tank, I―"

"It's _Ptankh_." he interrupted crossly.

"Isn't that what I said?"

"No. You said it wrong."

"But I said 'Tank'."

"Yes, not 'Ptankh'. It is still wrong, _Jenny_."

"Je-wait, what? Wh-whatever, look, I can get that you're ticked at me, totally have the rights to, I can roll with that, but―isn't she your _wife_?"

"My affairs with Mara are not your concern, boy. Do you ever shut up?"

"No, they're not, and the jury's still out on that, but... C'mon, what's your deal with Mavis, at least?"

Ptankh blinked, "With your betrothed? None. It is her mother that I had a 'deal' with, if I had any."

Jonathan flushed but didn't protest at the 'betrothed' comment, but the last bit made him blink.

"With _Martha_?"

Ptankh scowled, "It is...complicated. . . Feh. If I tell you my story, you will leave me in peace?"

Jonathan nodded eagerly.

"With the understanding that if you tell anyone else this story, I will hunt you down regardless of location to most assuredly _not _kill you?"

"Yup. . . Wait, _not _kill m―?"

"You'd be surprised what people can live through." Ptankh said drily, "So, with that understanding?"

Jonathan nodded, much less eagerly.

"Good. Here is my story..."

* * *

. . .

* * *

Mavis was sitting near the flat top of the pyramid, her mom's book in her lap and thoughts in her head.

* * *

. . .

* * *

_"Me and Ptankh were betrothed when we were still human. Arranged marriage kind of thing..."  
_

* * *

. . .

* * *

She traced the cover, embossed with gouges to look like a heart-shaped bat, 'Martha' scratched into a corner. She flipped to the red bookmark, but didn't read it yet.

* * *

. . .

* * *

_"It started out rocky at first. I was, eh, wilful, he was proud. We still are, but, back then it worked out. We were both sharp, both hilariously cynical. The marriage certainly wasn't boring in **any **aspect, know what I'm sayin'? . . . D'aw, look at you blush... Well, we never 'zinged', but we became good friends, eventually. Anyway, he died first, but we were pretty well off, so I built this place for him, added a few of my own touches. Managed not to get married again or offed to join him too soon, thank goodness. Didn't really know he was, uh, waiting, until I was put in here a few years later. It was...it was the happiest thing, really, felt like we had the whole everything in front of us. But Ptankh is...he got comfortable, right? Kept telling me 'next year, next year', every time I wanted us to get out. I mean, things changed around us, right? Outside of this place? He didn't seem to think that was a good thing. I did. We fought a lot about that. Then, on one of my walks, I ran into Martha... Literally, she flew into my face, heh... We were in roughly the same situation, and I...I guess I wanted to prove something to Ptankh, like, hey, see, see how good this girl is? See how she deals with the world? . . . Didn't turn out quite like I planned. We just fought more, about the stupidest things, about my dedication to the marriage, about his isolation. But I was thinking 'Alright, I'll just hang out with Martha.' Show him a thing or two. But that was a bad call, really, just me running away from the problem, and him hiding from it... Then Martha met Dracula and..."  
_

* * *

_. . .  
_

* * *

Mavis thumbed through the silky bookmarks, feeling their slight stiffness from age and stale air. The pages smelled like grapes and papery clay.

* * *

. . .

* * *

_"And then I felt betrayed by Martha, and I downright hated her husband."  
_

* * *

_. . .  
_

* * *

Mavis remembered the slight shock she'd gotten from that.

* * *

_. . .  
_

* * *

_"Never outright, of course," Mara had been quick to detail, "But...Martha's sharp. Was sharp. That, and it was clear to see I had a cold shoulder for Chops. I hadn't left Ptankh at that point, but she knew how things were. I swear, she could practically read me like a book. I was jealous of her and her happy, happy marriage and Dracula stealing my friend from me but... She was still my friend, even with all my pettiness. Even though I realized I was practically using her to get at Ptankh, heck she knew it before I did, she was still my friend and...I learned how to deal. I was still stubborn, though, still stupid, still thinking Ptankh would come around if I taunted him long enough... I wanted him to find me, but...I guess I was running too far. Martha's death was the last grain. I wanted to travel, after that, like really travel, and I wanted him with me. He didn't want to go, as always, so...I pushed him. I cornered him. I told him either he could leave this place, or I'd leave him, and he... Well, you know the rest... He chose the freaking house over me."_

_"And you chose the world over him." _Mavis remembered replying.

_". . . Huh. . . I guess I did."_

_"He left things untouched,"_ Mavis had said, _"He was waiting for you."_

_"Well I was waiting for him, too!" tablets smashed on the floor, "Dangit!"_

_There had been a pause._

_". . . Maybe you just needed to talk,"_ Mavis had suggested, _"Like...meet halfway...?"_

_"I-It's not that...it's-it's too simple to be that easy."_

_"Probably. But sometimes the simple thing isn't the easiest thing to do. Maybe that's why some people don't pick it."_

_". . . Well. You are your mother's daughter. . ." _she remembered Mara saying. And how that had made her feel.

_"Here, I...I found it... Take it. It's the one with the red bookmark. I'll think on what you said..."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"No, no, don't be, I... Thank you. Hey, take your own advice, right? You talk, too. You get the advantage I didn't take. You talk to your guy, alright, Mavis? Martha agrees with me too. Just read it, and...and I'm gonna go find Ptankh..."_ Mara had left then, and Mavis found her way up here, under the stars and the cool night air...

* * *

. . .

* * *

She sighed, and looked at what her mom had written for her.

Mavis scanned the title of the poem, and immediately flushed.

_'Safe Necks'?!_

What the heck, Mom?!

Blind-sided and thrown, Mavis glanced around before swallowing, and began to read.

_Safe Necks_

_Dear daughter, well done!_

_You have found your zing!_

_I'm happy and knowing it's a wonderful thing!_

_It's exciting and strange, you feel warm in the face,_

_He's loving and there, yet you feel out of place._

_Fear not, sweet Mavis, though it's something so new,_

_It's something all zingers will have to go through._

_There is no instruction, no definite guide,_

_There's no certainty in when to take love's first bite._

_You'll be confused, my darling, but cherish the feeling,_

_Your heart will be thumping, your mind will be reeling,_

_His love will be tempting, your love a hunger you long to sate,_

_You think: would husband and wife be too long to wait?_

_I can't direct you, my love, but my thoughts I'll impart,_

_The body's important, but so is the heart._

_There's pleasure in the feasting, but a thrill in the chase,_

_You'll have him, dear Mavis, you'll both find your place._

_With rings on your fingers, you lovely in white,_

_Such a vision is worth it, for it'll be alright._

_For until then, you'll have been learning and loving and light,_

_Until the 'I do's', and then the wedding night,_

_When you can at last bare each other's untouched necks,_

_And enjoy the savoring and―well you know what comes next._

_Oh, it's worth the wait, Mavis, another step on your way,_

_To explore the passions and experiment and play._

_And yes, you may blush, but take it to heart,_

_The things after a zing are only the start._

_Learn, and love, and live your unlife to its best,_

_Then my grandchildren can make up for the rest._

_You'll be fine, dear daughter..._

_All of my love, Mavis. To my son, too, whomever he may be._

_Love, Mommy._

_P.S. There are no definite guides, but that was a slight lie. I left a list of books that are good 'reading material'. Shh! Don't tell Daddy! It was Auntie Mara's idea!_

Mavis couldn't help snorting. Under that P.S. had been written_ 'Was too your Mom's idea! At least one of them!'_

Out of curiosity, she scanned the list. . . A lot of the titles didn't mean anything to her, but the ones that _did_...

She blushed, preparing to Goggle a lot of things later. Or Google, w-whatever...

* * *

. . .

* * *

Jonathan found Mavis outside, having found a trapdoor at the top of the pyramid.

* * *

. . .

* * *

_"I'd wanted to keep her safe. The years...quicken after a time. Things go by too fast. I was never one for fastness. She did not share my concerns."  
_

* * *

_. . .  
_

* * *

He took a moment to just look at her. She was curled over a book, some of her hair escaping from the pony tail, a few dark strands against the khaki that looked blue in the nighttime. The stars were awesome in the desert, and she just made the scene perfect.

* * *

. . .

* * *

_"I did not want to go out there. I did not want her to go out there, either, but I would not force Mara. I could never... When we were still human, she had let me remember there were things outside of tradition. But those first years, where I waited for her to join me, were so...**agonizing**. Any humans I asked for news would avoid me, ignore me, or worse, curse me. My own relatives shunned me, and at times they would have tried to further bury my home. It is funny, my descendants and my relatives' descendants founded that very town Mara speaks of, and yet... Who among them would remember their ancestors and their transgressions? Pah, it does not matter now. Mara sings their praises. Mara says 'Lighten up, Ptankh!' Mara asks 'Why do you hate the outside, Ptankh?' . . . She mistook my caution and pride for cowardice and apathy. She then tried goading me, not listening to my reasons, trying to bribe me, anger me, and I will admit I did not take that well. There was one time I had barricaded her in her chamber for an entire year, when she had gone too far. Of course, she got back at me by filling my sarcophagus with dead frogs that took a whole season to clean out."_

_Ptankh had actually laughed at that, before scowling again._

_"And then she found Martha, whom she waved in my face ever since. Martha does this, hear what Martha does. Martha, Martha, Martha. My own wife would practically profess her love to another woman in front of me! Hah! And when the woman got married? She got worse! Nag, nag, nag... I would not budge, though, and eventually I ceased really listening to Mara altogether. That had been my mistake. After Martha's death... I had met the vampire, once, and she was a **good **woman, human, and her death was a tragedy. But Martha... It was too much for her. She threatened to actually leave me should I not choose to go with her and... She had given me that threat many times before, in different words, yes, but... I did not hear her, see her determination, in my pride thinking it was a shallow promise as always. Why would she go to be among the very race that had murdered her beloved Martha? So...I told her to leave. And she did. After that, this place has been so silent, empty... And I tell myself, that when she comes and asks me to be with her again, I will say yes, and follow her. And I have waited. But now she brings you, and more malicious memories of the vampire... So nothing has changed... And so, that is my story."  
_

* * *

_. . .  
_

* * *

Jonathan reached for the pocket with the camera but...he let it be. Some things were too good for pictures.

* * *

. . .

* * *

_Johnny had to point out, "She says you have too much brine in your stuffing."_

_"She would."_

_"She also called you a dummy."_

_"She's called me worse."_

_"And old-fashioned."_

_"You're not making yourself any easier to tolerate, human..." the mummy had warned._

_"She also said you were a real tank back in the day."_

_"Well she―what? . . . She said **what**?"_

Ptankh's face had been hilarious.

Jonathan remembered adding, _"She gets all nostalgic and stuff when she talked about you. I think she missed you too. She was real nervous about coming back here."_

_"I . . . I see. . ."  
_

* * *

_. . .  
_

* * *

Jonathan had waited a little bit, but it was clear the guy was thinking. So he'd just smiled, and told the guy he was gonna see if 'girl time' was over. He'd found Mara, who'd looked just as stunned, asked her about Mavis, and then told her where he'd left Ptankh. He knew one conversation and one night wasn't gonna fix things for those two. But it would be a start.

He carefully went down the steps of the pyramid, the rock crumbling here and there. Mavis heard him, slamming the book shut, and then grinning at him.

"You." she greeted.

"You." he replied happily, sitting on the step behind her and getting comfortable, and she leaned back against him. He liked having her this close.

He looked over her shoulder at the book, "Found it?"

She nodded, bumping his head slightly, "Mmhm. Thank you for not dying."

He looked at the cover, chuckling, "Thank you for not worrying."

"How was he?" she asked.

"How was she?" he replied evenly.

They exchanged stories.

It took some time...

". . . Woah." Johnny muttered when they'd both finished, processing it.

"I know," Mavis shrugged, "But I think we helped. It still looks like she and my mom were good friends, anyway."

He grinned, hugging her against him, "We did awesome." he decided.

She laughed, "We'll see. . ."

". . . So what's the book about?" he asked, and felt her stiffen up.

"Um... Just girl stuff." he heard her say.

He nodded, grinning, "Cool."

They sat there for a while, looking at the stars and the clear edge of the horizon. Everything looked blue, and bright, and it was so quiet...

He felt Mavis shift against him.

"I'm cold," she decided, setting the book aside. She surprising him by standing up, and then moving his legs so she could...sit on his lap...

She sat sideways, of course, and it was still modest but...he stopped thinking.

"Um, this better?" he asked, taking advantage and holding her closer. She was curling into him, kind of. She was light, and warm.

She nodded, and he could feel the movement against his chest, "Mmhm..."

He stared blankly at the horizon. Best moment ever.

After a moment, she spoke up again, "I... I have another story..."

He blinked, and listened as she started speaking, "There was once a girl who...never had a boyfriend." she began, "There weren't many boys around her age, and...and whenever there were well, either they weren't right or her dad just didn't like them... So she never kissed or held hands or-or even hugged one. And she was strangely okay with that. Then she found her zing..." He listened, blushing as she snuggled more into him, "And it's _amazing_," she mumbled, "It's okay to touch, okay to hold hands, okay to _kiss _but...but she doesn't..." He looked down at the top of her head as she paused, and she spoke into his shirt, "She's never had a boyfriend, so she doesn't know what to do with one or what's okay and she's worried she's gonna mess up or something and―"

He kissed the top of her head, making her pause, "And that's perfectly okay." he told her, grinning like an idiot.

She pushed away slightly to look directly at him, frowning stubbornly, "I _know _you had another girlfriend!" she protested, "Once! How can I hope to―?!"

He kissed her again to interrupt her, giddy. She didn't find anything wrong with him!

"She was just a fling, Mavis..." he said against her mouth, backing off, smiling. "Just a summer," he added. "We hooked up, and yeah, it was cool. Didn't do much beyond kissing or holding hands, and then..." he chuckled, "She left me for our hang gliding instructor."

He enjoyed seeing her confused, "She left you for your―wait, she what?"

He laughed even harder, burying his face in her shoulder, "I got invited to the―_hah_―I got invited to the wedding later that fall!" he confessed.

"Wait, _what?!_" Mavis shoved him away again to look properly at him, "Why would she _do _that?!" she exclaimed.

He grinned, "Well, they both knew I played good music. Someone had to play for the reception."

"That's not what I―oh, _what?!_" Mavis couldn't help bursting into laughter herself, "You... She... Humans are so _crazy_..." she giggled helplessly.

"You know it!" he replied happily.

Then she smacked him in the shoulder, "Dangit, Johnny," she snapped, blushing, "I'm trying to be serious here and you're―!"

"I'm serious, too." he countered, looking at her, holding her around the waist, her hands on his shoulders. "This is kind of new for me, too, Mavis," he confessed, "But I don't want another girlfriend, right? I don't just want to...you know... That's not what I want. I just want _you_." She was frozen, staring at him with wide eyes and looking freaking adorable. He brushed his nose along her cheek. Her skin was soft. "Besides, you're already great at this..." he told her quietly, and felt her hands tighten on his shoulders, her nails slightly sinking into the fabric. "You wanna know what happens next, right?" he continued carefully, running a hand up to her shoulder, "We're gonna travel the world, Mavis," he told her, "We'll camp out, we'll stay in. We'll get to know what we like, what we don't like, how we work as a team, how we work as a _couple_..." She whined slightly into his ear when his fingers dragged over her scalp, "We'll take it easy, we'll roll with it..." he said gently. "And then we get back to the hotel, together, and," he swallowed, "I'll give you a ring, then, Mavis..."

He heard her breath catch, but her hands were smoothing over his back. She was holding him closer.

He grinned, fiddling with the tie that held her hair back, "And _then_..." he continued, "We won't know what we're doing, Mavis. But that's the fun part. The exciting part. We'll learn how we _work_, and it'll be...it'll be amazing, and then..." he tugged it free, bunching her soft hair against the nape of her neck while his mouth was near her ear, "You're going to _bite _me_..._ Right, Mavis?"

He heard her gasp, and held her quickly before she could get up. "Hey, hey, hey, it's okay," he soothed, "We talked about it, right? I'm okay with it..."

"But..." she whimpered, and she felt warmer, "But to say it like _that_..."

He chuckled, "You were thinking it, too." he accused playfully, "I've seen how you've sometimes looked at my n―_eck!_"

She'd shoved him down against the pyramid steps, eyes narrow and glowing, "You're making it _very, very **hard **_to wait for a white wedding, Johnny-y-y..." she growled.

He grinned up at her, "You know you're cute when you're frustrated?" he told her.

She glared, and huffed, and surprised him by lunging forward until her lips were pressed against the skin of his neck.

They were frozen like that, he staring up at the stars while feeling the warmth and softness of her mouth against his trachea, the heat of her breath...

She growled again, backing off to stare at him, "How do I do it?" she asked.

He looked up at her, confused, and her hands moved from his shoulders to the front of his shirt to yank him upright.

"Hickeys." she continued bluntly, "H-how do you do them without...?" she blushed, but stared at him stubbornly.

He blinked, feeling warm himself, and then moved forward hesitantly, cupping her face, "Uh... I think it's best to just..." he said slowly, tilting her head gently to expose the pale skin of her throat, "_Show_..." He couldn't believe he was doing this. He couldn't believe she was _letting _him _do_ this...

He kissed her neck carefully, firmly, listening and feeling her gasp when he pressed against a certain spot on the skin, that one he'd found last time. She was warm, in spite of the cool air, or maybe because of it, and smelled like clean sweat and sand and something that was simply Mavis. He mouthed her pulse point, trying a taste, testing with his teeth, and knew he'd tried his luck. She growled, and shoved him away again only to press her face into own his neck, quicker than he had, and he felt his breathing hitch. He occasionally felt the scrape of her teeth, of those delicate points, and the sensation made him shudder, but she never broke skin. He wasn't sure he would've really minded if she did. Like? He _loved _her teeth...

He gently pushed her away, hearing her mumble in protest, and kissed her still open mouth, feeling her hand clench into the back of his scalp and his shoulder, feeling her breathe against him and into him, and the cold desert night was very, _very _warm... He took advantage, and felt for and _scraped _over one of her fangs with the flat of his tongue, letting himself get caught between her incisors as she purred and held him closer, gently _gnawing_... Literally, she was purring...

He couldn't help a laugh at that, and her palm lightly thwapped the back of his head, and he obeyed, focusing on the kiss, on Mavis... _Mavis_...

They practiced with hickeys, with teeth, with sweet spots, and they eventually calmed down, breathing slowly...

"So..." Mavis said breathlessly, "So, so that's okay...?"

"Okay? Try incredible." he corrected her, feeling satisfactorily tender around the neck.

He grinned, nuzzling that spot behind her ear that made her jump, "What, you didn't like it?"

"Don't joke." she chided bluntly, leaning back into him. He felt her gently prod at his neck with her fingers, ". . . I don't see anything." she complained.

"It'll show up." he assured her.

She looked at him and shrugged, accepting it, but pressed another kiss there just in case, making him laugh again.

For a while they just sat there, holding each other close, warm and worn and completely comfortable as they watched the stars.

"So what happens now?" he heard her ask.

He sat back thoughtfully, "Well..." he mulled it over, "I was thinking after we made sure Mara and Ptankh were cool, we could head towards port. This place is awesome, but you really have to see the Nile. And then we can go up North. We'll have to be careful through the Middle East, but there's these awesome spots in Israel that you'll like―_Weizmann Institue of Science, awesome place, and Jerusalem is a traditional must_―and then we can go to..."

Mavis blinked, amused while he talked. That wasn't what she'd meant at all. But she settled in to listen, comforted and comfortable. Things were okay...

"_What are you doing on my roof?!_"

They both jumped, looking down to where Ptankh was glaring at them from the base of the pyramid, Mara next to him, and they saw her smack him on the arm.

"Calm down, Ptankh, it's just young love!" she said, laughing, winking at them.

They were quick to disentangle themselves, blushing furiously while the man scowled.

"Young love is fine, so long as it's kept in proper places and not on people's roofs. I will have to change those bricks now." he growled.

"At least you'll be changing _something_." Mara said nonchalantly, ignoring the glare of her husband.

Mara crossed her arms as they step-tumbled down the pyramid, smirking at them.

"So," she chuckled, "Thought you could distract us so you could be having some 'alone time', eh? You only had to ask..."

She rode over their apologies and protests with a simple "Thank you."

They paused, staring.

"Huh?" Johnny asked eloquently.

Ptankh cleared his throat, "We have...talked." he confessed, Mara nodding. "And actually listened this time." she added.

"Oh... So, you guys are okay now?" Mavis asked.

The mummified couple promptly shook their heads, "No." Mara sighed.

Before the human and vampire could say anything, Ptankh spoke up, "We are, however, going to find a marriage counselor," he informed them. "It is about time that we _both_ made an effort to pursue and preserve what we had. It was good of you two to bring that to light."

"He means 'thank you for the common sense'," his wife continued cheerfully. "And for the show."

"Mara..." Ptankh growled warningly as they blushed again, and she rolled her eyes.

"C'mon, kids, chow's up." she told them, and took Mavis aside for a moment, "So-o, how was it?" she asked excitedly.

Mavis grinned, "Just what I needed to hear." she replied simply.

Mara face fell, "You're no fun." she muttered crossly.

Mavis smirked, kissing her cheek, "Thank you, Auntie Mara. I'm totally inviting you to the wedding."

She left the mummy woman stunned, satisfied with a good ending to the day.

She had to rescue Jonathan from Ptankh again when the mummy had lost patience with the camera, but other than that, things were gonna be okay...

* * *

. . .

* * *

They left the next day. Johnny had managed to convince Ptankh to pose with Mara for a picture. Ptankh looked grim and grouchy while Mara had the goofiest grin standing next to him. Mara had insisted she get a picture with Mavis, too, and then Mavis and Johnny. Nothing could convince the two men to get in a picture with each other, though, and no one pushed it.

They eventually made it to the Nile, and had managed to get a boat. They would eventually get to Cairo. So for now, they just rolled with it.

They were leaning on the railing, watching the shore go by, calm and quiet in the dusk.

Well, Jonathan had gotten a few cross looks from some crocs that he was still suspicious about.

"I've got a question," she heard him speak up, and looked over at him curiously. He did indeed have those little bruises on his neck, as he'd promised. It gave her a bit of a thrill. He was staring at the water. "When we head around again we'll be going through Italy. In Pisa, there's a tower that leans. I don't know if people can go in it any more, but I was wondering... If you go in there, would you walk at a slant or walk _with _the floor? It's funny to think about, like those photo tricks but you'd be doing it for real, you know? What do you think?"

She blinked, "Not sure." she admitted, smiling, "We'd have to find out when we get there."

"Fair enough," she heard him reply. "Ooh, I got another question."

"Mmhm?"

"What do you think of this?"

She looked over at him, and then down at the thing he was holding out to her.

It was shiny, gold, and simple.

"I take it―_woah, hah!_―I take it you like it?" he laughed, when she'd tackled him against the wall.

"_Yes_." she told him, before kissing him, answering both questions.

They thought they heard laughter from the river, but honestly, neither of them cared at that point.

* * *

. . .

* * *

_A year later...  
_

* * *

_. . .  
_

* * *

There was laughter, both feminine and masculine, and then the door to the hotel room burst in.

Mavis dashed inside in a blur of white, with Jonathan stumbling in not too far behind.

He straightened, looking around excitedly, and then got attacked from behind.

"We did it!" she whispered in his ear, piggybacking him.

"We did it." he agreed cheerfully, moving around to try and get her off and facing him, but she wasn't making it easy.

"Holy _rabies_, I can't believe we did it!" she squealed, finally letting Johnny take her off, and he stared at her, grinning, "Better believe it." he told her, thumb grazing the ring she wore on her hand, a matching one on his own left. She laughed, and looked at him, her veil dislodged enough to fall to the floor. His hair hadn't stayed tame for the ceremony, but no one really cared. Dracula had nearly cried, taking her down the aisle, but he'd gotten himself together enough to smile at Johnny. Everyone had been there, even Jonathan's family, who were just as rowdy a bunch as Jonathan himself. And then the dancing after... It wasn't every wedding that the groom did some of the music for his own reception. Frank, Wayne, Griffin, Murray... It had been a blast. Mara and Ptankh had come, too, looking much happier. Well, at least Ptankh's scowl had seemed less violent. Mara and Dracula had even done a friendly dance at the reception, seeming to hold up an olive branch, even after Ptankh had scared Dracula off to dance with his wife. Things went so well...

Johnny had gotten to have a stag party at the hotel, and Mavis a hen night, too, before the day of the wedding. Mara and Ptankh had been able to come to those as well. And it had been...interesting, having both things in the same hotel yet separate, and would be events that would never be told to anyone.

And now...

She couldn't seem to stop giggling as Johnny began picking at the lace of the shoulder, smiling at her. She held her breath, and began unbuttoning the jacket of the suit. She could never get used to taking off his shirts, even with all the practice they've had, and now _this_... Her hands were actually shaking, slipping over the buttons. He caught her hands, kissing the fingers, "Blushing bride?" he chuckled, and she smirked, brushing her knuckles against his cheek. "First and last time I wear white..." she told him warmly, deciding to go with what she knew.

She tackled him to the bed, grinning at him as he yelped, and he laughed up at her as she worked on the buttons with more certainty, his own hands reaching for the zipper that closed the back of her dress, and they were both blushing, and just couldn't seem to stop laughing. For a moment they paused, and looked each other straight in the eyes, feeling that _zing_.

"You..." she murmured.

"You." he replied happily, before rolling up and over in a froth of black silk and white fabric.

A moment later her hand reached up from the tumble, pointing with a brief flash of magic.

The door closed on the room quietly, muffling any noise, hiding any sight, showing no sign of the two newlyweds...

* * *

. . .

* * *

The shrunken head that hung from the doorknob chuckled, swinging gently.

"Do not disturb."

* * *

. . .

* * *

**Author's note:** _. . . Well. . . That went and took significantly longer than I'd expected. I don't really have much to say for this but I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you very much, and I hope that you keep well, keep calm, and carry coffee. Thanks again!_

_Sincerely, the hatchling_


	4. Chapter 4

**A Technical Epilogue**

* * *

. . .

* * *

Jonathan yawned, scratching at the faint stubble on his face, squinting at himself in the mirror. He hadn't put his contacts in, so he was wearing his glasses. Actually, lately all he'd _been _wearing was his glasses. He smirked, remembering how that started...

* * *

. . .

* * *

_". . . Johnny, what are you wearing?"_

_"Hm? Ah, yeah, sorry, the prescription on my contacts expired. I'm gonna have to wear these things until the new ones come in."_

_"Oh..."_

_"Yeah, I know, funny-looking, right?"_

_"No, no, they look...good... I mean, you look good."_

_"Oh... Well, heh, thanks."_

* * *

_"Dangit, I know I put the box right―Mavis have you seen the contact box thing?"_

_"What thing?"_

_"A white box, I swear I put it... Not here, no, it's―gah, I'll just reorder..."_

* * *

_"Mavis, where's the mail?"_

_"On the table!"_

_". . . Urgh. Was there anything else with it?"_

_"Like what?"_

_"That white box I talked about last time."_

_"Um... No, no haven't seen it..."_

_"Gah, that's the fourth time this month..."_

_"I wouldn't worry, Johnny. I...think glasses suit you..."_

_". . . Oh. . .? Oh-h, I see. . ."_

_"What?"_

_"Oh, nothin'."_

_After that point, he'd stopped ordering the contacts, and stopped asking about the mail._

* * *

. . ._  
_

* * *

He yawned again until his jaw popped, and then grunted, feeling something funny. He frowned, reaching in, and felt something come loose with a faint slipping sensation. Eyes widening, he slowly brought his hand out to see the adult canine tooth gleam bloodily between his thumb and forefinger, tasting the distinct taste of copper. . .

His orthodontist was going to kill him.

"Mavi-i-i-is...?" he keened, staring in horror at the piece of his skull. Then he felt the other canine fall out, and in panic he swallowed it.

. . . .

". . . _AAAAAAAAAAGH_―_?!_"

* * *

. . .

* * *

"It's just your training fangs coming in, Johnny." she chuckled, comforting her husband as he grimaced at his reflection.

"But I thought," he said morosely, with a slight lisp, looking in slight disgust at the unseemly gaps, "I thought it was just you bit me―here," he gestured to the faint scars on his neck, "An' BAM!"

"We went over that," she chided, still unable to keep a straight face. He was cute when he was distressed, "Babies don't grow their teeth in a day, and neither will you. You'll get your training fangs, and then you'll have to use them enough before your adult ones can come in. But it's okay," she kissed him, sneakily sweeping her tongue in for a brief taste of the blood left in his mouth, "I'll help you...practice..." she assured him sweetly. He kissed her back before she could pull away, before asking her, "No braces?"

"No braces." she promised.

He grinned, and rolled his eyes when she laughed at the gap teeth, "I love you." he told her, and kissed her again.

Later that day, just for the heck of it, she left him two quarters under his pillow.

The day after that he'd used that money to buy chewing gum. It had been an impulse purchase, really.

From then on she'd keep stealing his gum. Creatively.

He'd keep buying it anyway.

* * *

. . .

* * *

She was sketching by the window when he found her, catching her up from behind. And above. She chuckled, dropping her book to join him on the ceiling.

"Hey to you, too." she told him.

He smiled, showing his fangs, before asking, "What's today, Mavis?"

"Tuesday?" she asked, and he nodded, "Yeah, yeah, but what else?"

She smirked, "The 18th?"

"And?"

"Of April?"

"_Warmer, Mavis..._" he growled, grinning.

"Our anniversary!" she finally sang, chuckling as he twirled her around the ceiling.

"The 50th!" he agreed excitedly, readjusting his glasses, "And I got us something totally awesome for it, here, wait, wait, look..."

He zoomed away for a moment, before returning with a piece of paper he held out to her.

He bounced on his feet as she read it over, "Drac agreed to look after Martha and Alexi," he informed her, "And a lot of people offered to house-sit and―"

"You're _serious_, Johnny?!" she murmured, eyes wide as she looked over the pamphlet.

"Aren't I always?" he quipped, smiling at her amazement.

". . . I mean, we've pretty much been everywhere else, so, I thought maybe a change of place might be fun... What do you think?"

She tackled him to the ceiling, answering without words, which, really, is one of the nicest ways to be answered.

The pamphlet fluttered to the floor, momentarily forgotten.

Its title page was emblazoned, boldly and simply, with the words NASA Spaceline...

* * *

. . .

* * *

**Author's note: **_This had no right to be here, but I put it up anyway. One of my nightmares is losing my teeth, but I'm glad it turns out alright for him._

_I hope you enjoyed it!_

_Sincerely, the hatchling_


End file.
